Separate And Ever Deadly

Chapter 3 - Attachment

Friday, 18:00

"You ready, Marie?" Amy shouted at me.

"One sec!"

Ok. Messy hair, black shattered Arctic Monkeys t-shirt which we've just printed, tight shorts, net leggings and black boots. I was ready. I ran and got in the car.

"Hope we'll get there by 7 pm" the driver complained.

"C'mon Rick, we've got enough time!"

Rick. So he was Amy's boyfriend. I couldn't see his face very well, but he didn't seem the prince charming Amy was telling me about. But still she told me so much about him as I started to think I really knew him, about how he was the best she ever had, how much she loved him, how perfect he was and blah blah.

People in love are so blind! That's why each and every one of them must have a good friend behind, someone who would risk their friendship in order to open the eyes of the other person, someone to say what they think, to share their thoughts, hunches and suspicions.

I've lost a good frienship this way a couple months ago. I just told her that the guy was cheating on her and she got mad and thought I wanted to steal him form her and eventually she made a scene in the highschool court, in front of another fifty people who turned their heads towards us and enjoyed our show. Needless to say, that left a huge mark on me and made me go through days of hell and hours of crying alone in my bedroom. I'm a sentisitive person though.

However, I'm a very good listener, people love talking to me, sharing me their secrets. I've never been a popular girl and I guess this makes people believe in me, but at the same time, keep a resonable distance from me and the black cloud over my head.

I was sitting in the back seat of the car and waited to be shown a little attention from the guy.

"So... You French right?"

"Yep"

"You don't seem"

"What do you mean?"

"You don't seem very fancy and... I don't know... And you speak pretty well... You don't have that accent..."

"Hmm... Thanks, I guess"

In many people's opinion French people behave extremely fancy, are always fashionable and stylish and can't speak English.

"And your nose... Isn't as huge as I've expected" he giggled at his own joke.

Was this a compliment or what? I remained silent for the rest of the trip. I already hated Rick. So what, I am French, I dress like shit, I'm not the best English speaker in the world, but I definitely don't have a big nose!

"I thought you wouldn't come anymore! You're late, dudes!"

Alex was nervous when we got there. I could see his sweated palms as he was shaking hands with Rick. Suddenly, he seemed very emotional and stressed, his huge flawless smile turned now into a forced and unnatural one. Soon, he stopped complaining and hugged me.

"You. Look. Amazing!"

"Thanks, Al"

Why did I call him 'Al'? I tried to avoid eye contact with him as I felt my cheeks turning red after kissing his.

"Oh, look who's here! Cool t-shirt, girl!" Matt pointed at me. "Ready, mate?"

"Yep"

"Everything's gonna be ok, remember! You are the best! You'll be perfect as always" I tried to encourage Alex, who looked more and more frightened. As a friend, I felt like I had to tell him those things.

"But all those people..." he puffed and looked around him at the impatient crowd.

"Forget 'bout them! Remember that rehearsal? When I was the only person watching you? Imagine that!"

"I'll try... But please promise you'll be in the first row!"

"Ok, promise. Now, good luck!"

I kissed his cold soft cheek and left.

"Thanks!" I heard him shouting behind me.

I turned my head and saw him smiling. He seemed so sweet and innocent...

The show was amazing, extraordinary, energizing, exactly the kind of show any teenage girl would want to attend, needs to attend, the kind of show which changes your life, which you'll never forget. Amy was giving me thumbs up everytime she sold a t-shirt, but eventually she got surrounded by so many people she could barely handle with. The monkeys already had fans!

After forty minutes of constant jumping, shouting and singing along, the crowd started to scream with disappointment for an encore. I couldn't believe it was over. My body was exhausted from all the mad jumping and dancing, but at the same time, I didn't want that moment to ever end.

"Ok, so that's a song we just wrote a couple days ago. It's more of a slow one so... It's called 'Mardy Bum'"

New song... Alex didn't tell me anything about it (and he usually tells me everything about his band).

Everyone was screaming now with excitement. We were young and we had to live each moment at the maximum, we had so much energy and will we could do anything we wanted and we wanted to have fun that night!

Everyone was loudly cheering the band as they started playing. 'Mardy Bum' was such a British name for a song! I remembered Amy calling me like that once and then telling me about the meaning of the phrase.

"Rick is from North" she said. "He told me a lot of their slag and other words"

'...remember cuddles in the kitchen... to get things off the ground...'

What was Alex singing? Anything it was, it was beautiful... I've always considered 'beautiful' such a simple, common but yet so hard to use word.

The music was perfectly completing the lyrics which made me laugh and cry at the same time. Alex was a lyrics genius, I already knew that, he could imagine situations and conversations better than he could handle them in reality, but somehow I felt the song was written for me. Or about me. We cuddled in the kitchen a couple nights before, right? And I was the moody person who one seconds laughs and cheers people up in a matter of seconds and the other hides in her room and stays alone crying and dreaming for no reason.

But Alex was wrong, he was completely wrong. Writing a song for someone like me was absolutely wrong! And definitely it wasn't ok getting attached to someone who'd leave in a couple months, was it? Someone who stays in your life for long enough to turn your whole world upside down and then just leaves and turns your heart into a huge bunch of mess. I didn't want that to happen. I didn't want to get attached to Alex and certainly I didn't want him to do that, as I loved our beautiful friendship. Attachment is a form of masochism.

"Thank you everyone you were such an amazing crowd! We're the Arctic Monkeys don't forget our name and we'll see you soon! Good night!" Alex shouted into the mic and left the stage.