hard times// eddie + richie // IT

Richie's thoughts

alone.
always.
i'm tired of being alone.
half ass parents, a brother that's never home, and no girlfriend.
sure, i have my friends, but doesn't everyone?
i could skip school and no one would care. i don't have parents to tell me to go to school. they're drunk, i'm alone.
problem is, they're my parents. i still hope that one day they'll sober up and we can be a family again.
that only happens in sappy daytime programs.
i miss being happy to be at home.
can you truly be happy is you're always alone?
nights are the scariest.
i shouldn't be scared, but i am.
about anything and everything.
staying home from school was probably a bad idea. because here i am, yet again, alone.
am i depressed?
i'm not sad, but i'm not happy. i'm just going.
i wonder if anyone else feels like me?
am i alone in my emotions too?
i needed to get out of the house, at least. i decided to go see stan after school, because he would know what to do.
actually, stan doesn't show emotion well. he keeps most things bottled up, and then sometimes he just explodes. he can be unstable from time to time.

eddie would know what to say. he always does. he's sort of shy sometimes, but i guess that's why i like him. he tries to spare my feelings. sometimes, he sugarcoats the truth, though, and i don't like that.
i mean, he does it because he cares. his heart is just too big. he even still loves his mother, who degrades him and makes him take useless medicine. eddie honestly deserves better than that.
it would be nice to have something in the house. maybe a dog or a cat? or maybe a fish or a plant?
something for me to take care of, something to keep me company.
what's funny, is i could leave and never come back, and no one would notice for years. no one's here ever. i'm the sitting duck for the house. i make sure there's food in the fridge, that the house is clean. i get to live there in return. it's not like i'm worth much else.
school was about to end, so i grabbed some clothes and threw them on.
i walked outside my house and grabbed my bike.
on the ride to the school, i thought about leaving. going somewhere cool. what if i became a hobo and traveled on boxcars? i could see the whole country, and no one would ever find me.
i saw stan, waking towards the bike rack to grab his bike.
"hey stan!" i yelled across the street. stan waved and biked over.
"what's up?" stan asked.
"i don't know, just felt like skipping today, i guess," i told him. stan nodded in agreement.
"wanna hang out? i was about to go to the arcade," stan said.
"sure," i answered.
so we rode together, talking about school, teachers, and everything in between.
we arrived at the arcade, and we walked in. a blast of cool air rushed into my face. stan looked at me.
"you're buying. i bought last time," he said. i laughed.
"sorry, sir bossy-pants. i'll go get the tokens," i joked. stan rolled his eyes. i went to dig my wallet out of my pocket. it wasn't there. crap. i left it at home.
"oops," i said. stan groaned.
"do not tell me you forgot your wallet. AGAIN," stan exclaimed.
"well that's what i'm telling you," i answered.
"fine. we'll have to find something else to do then," stan grumbled, clearly upset.
"ok, hold on. i gotta pee." i told him.

little did i know, stuff was gonna change after i got back.