this is an excerpt from stan's journal :)
bill and beverly have a date tonight.
i only know this because bill told me three thousand times already.
it just hurts, that she doesn't feel the way i do.
it hurts really bad.
i don't want to feel this way anymore, but yet all i want is to be with her.
i'm happy for bill.
i try to be.
it's just hard sometimes, seeing them, together.
but, everyone knows the underdogs never get the girl.
i never thought i was the underdog.
even richie has someone he's head over heels for.
it's hard to see everyone else so happy and in love, and for me to just be left alone. i always feel alone, though, and sometimes it feels as though my lungs are made of paper and the loneliness is slowly pushing them in, making me feel every little bit.
i wanna smile again, for real.
anytime i see bill and beverly together, it just puts a damper on my mood. richie says i'm grumpy, i say i'm tired.
sad thing is, with everything that richie and eddie know, they believe me.
so, i'm left alone with my hurt.
i sound like a spoiled child.
i haven't really told anyone what i'm feeling.
i don't think i can without screwing anything up.
i wanna see eddie.
he would tell me what to do.
he's really smart.
he could help me with my paper lungs.
make everything better again, like a band-aid.
i also want to sleep.
i can't seem to get enough lately.
it's like i'm always tired and sad, just a walking ball if teen mood swings.
i don't want to be this way anymore.
but, i can't help it.
it makes me want to leave sometimes.
maybe california, or somewhere bright.
you never know.
YOU ARE READING
hard times// eddie + richie // IT
Fanfictioneddie and richie have hard lives.. what happens when they have to save themselves, the other losers, and their love? oh, the challenges they will face.
