Remember

Think of Something Expensive

Hours went by of me sitting in a dark corner while I saw these peoples' lives unfold. The stories I heard, the faith in God being shattered one soul at a time, the perverted men eyeing young scared girls, the bodies falling limp from hunger as death stood on the doorstep waiting to be let in, one minute felt like a whole week. The smell was foul. I wanted to throw up but I was afraid that I would make this place even more vile, although I'm not sure that would be possible. Jewels was still crying in the corner as three people I've never seen hugged her and lied to her about Sexy Mama passing in peace. I couldn't stop thinking about my dads. Had they given up on me? Had he done something to them? Did they forget me? I wouldn't be surprised if they did.. 

"Daddy's gonna love you forever, okay baby? We're gonna watch you grow up and become successful and show you off to everyone!"

"Yeah you make us happier each day we wake up. We won't let you down, ever. We love you. We'll be here for you through anything. Happy birthday!!!"

Tears welled up in my eyes. I always think I'm too numb to cry but I can never help it. The smiles on their faces every time I came up to them for a butterfly kiss was something you couldn't burn out of your head. Things went from awful to worse in a matter of the day. I had no idea what was going to happen. 

To distract myself from the panic attack I felt creeping up my shoulders, I went over and sat with a girl who was in the same position as me; tears on her face, a look of death in her eyes, arms bruised and scarred.  She had beautiful brown curly hair, her eyes were a gorgeous dark brown. Sad to see they were overtaken by defeat. She was about my age, maybe younger, and she was a lot shorter than me. She didn't fit into the rest of the crowd, I could tell by her innocence, so I decided to bring her a new hope of friendship.

"Hey..whats your name?" She didn't answer me. "I'm Celeste." No reply. I leaned back with my head on the wall and she scooted away. 

I looked in her direction and she replied, without looking at me,  "Dad says I'm not supposed to talk to strangers. So leave me alone." 

"Yeah my dad taught me that too, but I don't think any of us can afford to be strangers in here, dont ya think?"

"I said leave me alone."

"Look I'm sorry this is going on, but I'm just trying to be nice."

"If you don't stop talking to me I'm going to gauge your eyes out." 

"Okay I get it." I said as I stood up from my seat. "Just tell me your name, and I'll leave you alone. 

There was a long pause, felt like 15 seconds until she spoke. "Mercedes. Mercedes Holmes. Now go fuck yourself." 

"Nice to meet you Mercedes. How'd you land yourself in here?" I sat back down. She had a really nice name.

She turned her head towards me in annoyance, the dim light reflecting off her teary glazed eyes, as she answered, "Nothing, nada, no he hecho nada!"

"I'm sorry what?"

She sighed, her nostrils flared. "I did nothing wrong. All you fucking psychos in this room deserve to be here, not me." Her accent flowed out so nicely, opposite of the rage spitting from her words. 

"You're-you're not a criminal? He only kidnaps people he catches doing some bad things.."

No pendaja. I was walking home with my friend and some group of guys grabbed me and brought me into this house and this one guy shoved me into this room. I don't know who he is but he's evil. Look what he did to me." She lifted up her shirt and across her stomach were the letters "MMM" carved with a knife. I winced at the sight of a scabs and a possible infection. I know these three letters far too well. I saw others marked with the same burden, on torsos and arms and legs. Mine. Mine. Mine.  My brain flashed back to the first week I was here. He told me it wasn't gonna hurt and that if it did, it was my problem. He took a knife and the first cut he sculpted into my flesh had me tossing my head back in agony. His arms shook with excitement, his face of such pleasure and concentration. My pleads fell on deaf ears but my cries turned into a melody from his favorite song. His breathing was strong and thick and full of dominance as he branded me. 

I snapped out of these thoughts before I fell into another cycle of traumatic daze. 

My fingers went forward up to this helpless girls stomach, wanting to touch the scars. I was an idiot for doing so. She lunged at me, her hand wrapping around my already bruised neck and staying there for no more than two seconds before weakly falling beside her. I put my hand up to my neck and took a long breath, my blood pumping. 

  "I'm sorry.. I'm gonna help you okay? He put me in charge and I'm gonna help you."

"How?" 

"I don't know yet. Give me a few days."

"You're a bold one. Stay alive." 

I smiled at her, a wave of hope sparking up from my back to my neck all the way up into my head.  "You too Mercedes."

With a single nod, she lifted her head back up against a wall and closed her eyes. 

This meant the conversation was over. I stood up and was about to walk over to Jewels and Johanna and the little group around her when I heard the keys jingle. I, as well as everyone in the room, turned our heads towards the direction of the door. Everyone tried to back up, people were fighting to be all the way in the back corners. With a group of people this size, all trying to back up as far as possible, that was the best place to keep from being singled out.  I stood exactly in place as I saw the door open.

"Knock knock, I'm back from my meeting, Celeste ask me how it went."

"How was your meeting?"

"It was great! I got a few hundred dollars to buy myself some new clothes, even some dinner. Would you care to join me?"

"Ri-right now?"

"Yes. Right now. Come to me." He opened his arms wide in front of him, for what I thought was a hug. But when I was inches from his face, he grabbed my hair and tugged at it, he ran his fingers harshly over my face, my arms, and my chest. He brought my arm up to his face and sniffed the sleeve, only to toss it back down in distaste.

"You can't go to dinner like this, you look like the morning after in human form. I guess we're eating at home. What do you want?"

"What?"

"You're my partner. I want to get something of your liking, so tell me what do you want? His voice was stern and impatient so I said the first thing that came to mind.

"Pizza." His face contorted in disgust. "Unless pizza is a hundred dollars a slice, no thanks. Think of something expensive. I can afford it." 

I thought back to a french restaurant my grandma took me to for my middle school graduation. The food was insanely amazing and  expensive.  

"I want spicy garlic chicken with lamb and pudding inside a chocolate bowl that can be melted away with warm milk. The chocolate has to be Godiva brand and if the chicken is dry I'm not eating it." He smiled and pet my head as he headed in the direction of the door.

"I will have it here for you in less than an hour. Keep my slaves busy partner, don't be afraid to get abusive, they like it."

The door shut behind us and I turned to face the crowd. The kids were licking there lips at the thought of chocolate and warm milk. I heard stomachs growl, as well as my own, as everyone went back to their spot in the room.  

I felt eyes glaring at me and I hunched my back in fear and guilt. I knew what they were all thinking. Why is this girl getting everything and we have to suffer? Nothing about her is special. Just because she satisfied his man parts doesn't mean she gets a fancy meal and an opportunity to burn down others just like her. I agreed completely. We were all the same. Nothing made me special. Maybe I was just lucky. Or maybe I was in the worst position of them all.