Dolan Twins imagines + preferences

❁Never mine ❁

"I didn't know I could miss someone so much even if they weren't mine to begin with."

I checked my phone every once and a while, there aren't any messages. And when there is, my heart wilts a little each time I read the names that do not belong to you. It takes so much not to click on your contact and text you, for I know there would be no reply. And I don't want to bother you, disrupt your life in any way.
I just miss talking to you.

It shouldn't hurt this bad. I wasn't even aloud to call you mine yet. You weren't my boyfriend but the expectations were there. You made me trust that it would happen, that I wouldn't have to be or feel alone anymore. That you were going to be here with me, at least for a while. You always listened to me. You took an interest to what I was talking about. Wanted to know everything about me, even the darkest parts of my soul. I've told you things I haven't ever told another human being before and I didn't realize how easy it was to do until you were gone.
I had walls up for quite some time but they fell just as fast as I was starting to fall for you. I let you in and you ended up shutting me out.

Here I was looking at you with another girl holding hands. I thought of how you'd hold my hand and never want to release it to your side. I felt a little special because you had once told me you never liked to hold hands. So maybe it was an action reserved for the cherished. I'm sure you never thought nothing of it but I sure did. Now you are here holding hands with her. I guess she's special to you as well.

I had my suspicions of why you walked away, why you chose to hurt me. Knowing that we could've been together right now but something stopped 'us'. Something about the two of us scared you. Maybe you were afraid of letting someone love you. At least that's what I thought until now.

Your smiling with her, you told me you never liked to smile. You hated your smile. Yet you still smiled when you were around me. A lot. That made me feel accomplished to make you smile.
But just one look at her made you smile. I miss your smile so much.

"Haha! You're so cute. I love you Grayson." I heard the girl say.

"I love you too my love."

My love, you used to call me that even if we weren't together.
It was the first time I've heard that in a while. Especially you saying I love you. You thought of that word like a swear word you never like to say it.
Maybe you did love her like you loved me and I loved you.
But man you moved on quick.

You stole one glance at me. Then another until you realized it was me.
We made eye contact for once a while. It felt like we were staring at each other  for forever. I missed him so much, everything about him.
I didn't know I could miss someone so much even if they weren't mine to begin with.
I broke eye contact, like you broke my heart. If I didn't stop myself I wouldn't be able to look away from you.
I can't be in the same room as you. It hurts so much. You just left me, without warning. You let me get close to you like I've never been close to anyone before. Then you were gone.
I picked up my book and got up.
I walked towards the exit and bumped into your shoulder. I made eye contact one last time, it was like saying goodbye with my eyes.
I looked away and walked out of the door and that was the last time I would ever see you again the only time I'd see you again would be in my mind or in pictures.

❁