In a sick way I like nightmares
For when I dream I know it's not real
That the things I want in my dreams
Are nothing but fantasies
Tricks of the head
The same nightmare has happened every night
I was still very small
From the start of my emotional beatings
From third grade to the first year of middle school.
His bright red eyes bore into mine
As I feel his breath against my neck.
If feel helpless and submissive
But he wasn't through yet
He called me "Sweetness" but I never why
His dark hands enfold in mine
Pale cold skin with a devil grin
And a face that was so beautiful it was a sin.
He was very handsome but in a dark sense
His fingers trailed down to my throat as he grabbed me chocked me
The way he talked it was eerily seductive with a purpose
To kill me maybe
He whispered and shouted insults at me
"You're ugly" "Disgusting" "Weak" "Pathetic"
Maybe it's true
He showcased bad visions of terrible school memories
Twisted their words and faces
And made me watch
He seems crazy as he talks of murder and dark things.
He said never to trust anyone
That I should never sing
I began to listen to him
But then then the nightmares stopped
No more red eyes haunting me
I was finally free
But now he has come back after four long years
And now he seems more real
Throwing glass bottles at my face
Smacking to the ground
Chaining me up Beating me down
So hard in the ground
Then at the end he gave me a red rose
Telling me to see only "red"
I know it's a just a nightmare,
I know it's not real
That the red eyed man is just a fantasy
Then why does it feel so real?
His crimson eyes watch into me
I see them everyday watching waiting pouncing on his only prey
I see them in the window and at night in my dreams
On my phone, at the school
In the park and in my sleep
I want to forget him and every pain in my life
But he never wants to leave
He never wants to stop
He's a constant reminder of my most terrible sins
A constant reminder of pain and fear
And he's almost too real
Am I crazy? Maybe
Am I insane? Probably
But the saddest part is that when I see my friends and family
I don't see them.
I see red.
Help me.
