Malignant [h.s]

Forty Four

We open the door to my bedroom, Harry keeping his his arm around my shoulder. The tears have stopped streaming down my face but I'm still shaking immensely. The whole way back to the apartment Harry didn't pull away from me, and it was comforting because I didn't want to be away from him.

We walk into my room and he takes off his jacket, throwing it onto my chair. I feel completely drained of emotions. I'm distraught and on edge with everything that it tires me out.

"You should just go to sleep. It's been a long day." Harry murmurs softly as I pull away from him.

"Yeah, I'm just going to get changed." I barely have the strength to speak. My voice cracks and is basically a whisper.

"Do you want me to go?" He asks.

"N-no. I'll change in the walk in closet. Don't go right now please." I plead. This doesn't really benefit my pride when I beg him like that.

But I don't care. I really just don't want to be alone.

"Okay." He nods before walking over and sitting on my bed.

I disappear into my closet and get changed into a pair of track pants and a light blue sweater. I need to get out of these provocative clothes and never pick them up again. Moments later I walk right back out of the closet and see Harry sitting at the end of my bed.

"Wow that fits your curves perfectly." Harry makes a quiet joke, referring to my baggy clothing.

I chuckle lightly before walking over and sitting on the bed behind him, crawling up to the pillows. He immediately gets up and walks towards the door without another word escaping his lips. Is he leaving already? I'm not trying to sound needy but I kinda wish he would just stay a little longer. I just really don't want to be by myself. I know the no ones going to come in here or anything but I'm just feeling really uneasy at the moment.

He walks towards the door but instead of reaching for the door handle, he turns off the light. The room suddenly becomes soothingly dim from the lamp of my bedside table. He comes shuffling back over and stops at the end of the bed, grabbing his shirt and throwing it off his body.

His inked skin becomes displayed in the warm dim of the lamp and he looks absolutely breath taking. His hair stays perfectly swept up and out of his face while the lip ring stays admirably clamped on his bottom lip. The shadows of the lighting makes his chisels torso look incredible and the ink littering his skin never looked so appealing to me. His prominent v-lines narrow down to his jeans that hang on his hips while the band of his boxers peak out at the top.

I don't know why he looks so intriguing to me right now. I always knew he was attractive but in this moment he looks like an angel.

I've never really seen him as anything else but the devil.

"Can I take these off?" His raspy voice mumbles while holding the band of his jeans.

I know I said before that him just sleeping in his boxers made me uncomfortable if I was in the same bed, but at this point I'm just grateful he's staying here with me.

"Its fine." I mumble while getting under the blankets. He undos his belt and walks towards the opposite side of the bed, dropping his black jeans and sitting down on the mattress. He slings his legs on the bed and get under the covers next to me.

"I should have never left you alone." He whispers while laying on his side to face me, having the blankets tucked up to his waist. I turn into my side to face him as well, tucking my flat hands under my cheek.

"It's not you're fault." I sniffle.

"I should have waited outside the washroom, not upstairs." He mumbles in guilt.

"I'm just happy you came in when you did." I whisper.

"He didn't....did he?" Harry asks the implied question, which is weird for him. Harry never has a filter, he's never afraid to say or ask anything.

"N-no, he was about too." I almost choke on my words while remembering the traumatic even from just an hour ago.

He looks at me through his sympathetic eyes that I'm not used to seeing. He looks genuinely guilty, I can see it hidden in his emerald eyes. My body shakes in shivers that I can't get rid of. I move my hand from my pillow to my side and instantly flinch from the bit of pain formulating on my hip.

Harry noticed my reaction and furrows his brows at me.

"What's wrong?" He asks in concern.

"Nothing, it's fine." I mumble in hope that he won't worry.

He immediately leans over and grabs the bottom of my sweater, rolling up the fabric to expose the intense finger print marks that have burned into my skin. I huff at the sight and squeeze my eyes shut. Of course there would be a mark left from the drunk mans fingers, now I have to stare at this and be reminded of the incident.

My eyes stay squeezed shut and a tear regretfully escapes as my mind wanders to the assault.

My eyes stay glued shut as I feel the bed dip. I feel Harry's presence get closer and before I know it his soft lips press to my hip.

I open my eyes and see his head near my stomach, lightly kissing the surface of my tainted skin. My body freezes at the sight of his curly head of hair hovering over my hip.

His soft lips lightly press to the imprints on my hip and I lightly smile at his act of comfort. My hand rests on his upper back as he kisses the sins on my skin away.

He pulls back and wraps his arms around my body, pulling me into his warm chest. His strong arms wrap around my back and my waist, holding me firmly at the perfect position. My head rests perfectly against his soft chest and my arms fold up against his torso.

"You don't have to do this you know." I whisper while nuzzled into his frame.

"Do what?" His chest vibrates against me when he speaks.

"Be all nice to me." I mumble while our legs intertwine.

"Shhhh." He draws out while I listen to his calming heartbeat. I can't help but pull a small smile from his kind display. Being held in his arms makes me feel the most safe that I've felt in a while- and I don't know why. I've seen so many different sides of Harry and it's starting to overwhelm me in a way that I can't explain. I've seen him monotone, annoyed, infuriated, goofy, and comforting; but most of all I've seen him sad. All his emotions are tainted by his sadness and I realize it more and more everyday.

I've said to myself so many times that Harry is the literal devil, but now I don't think that's true. I don't know if some like the devil can have all of these emotions. Harry has unwinded in front of me more then I'm sure he probably ever planned too. He does things like this but if you ever confront him about it then he will say whatever he can to convince you that he is in fact a cold hearted monster. He doesn't like when people act like they know him better then he knows himself, it makes him feel vulnerable and conflicted.

And when someone feels vulnerable, naturally their guard goes up.

Harry's guard is up all the time.

"I'll never let someone like him touch you again." His low rugged voice speaks from above me, feeling the vibration of his chest in every word.