Malignant [h.s]

101

Amelia Adams

My hands are shaking as I grip the note in my finger tips, holding the chain against my chest with my other hand. I reread the note numerous times, only for the soul purpose of hearing his voice say the words in my head.

I cry and cry- not knowing how to stop myself. His letter has punched me so hard into a million pieces and I feel like a part of me died with him. He has known that this day was going to come. He spilled his heart out on this piece of paper, something I never imagined he would do. His words were so beautiful, but so damaged at the same time. The paper was written in black ink and tainted with my tears.

I shut my eyes and lean my head back against the glass. Holding the note to my chest with his necklace. I try to control my breathing but simply can't. I feel like I've been stripped of any control. My tears shower down my cheeks and I start to hyperventilate in nerves. I don't know what to do with myself.

He loved me, he loved me so much- and I knew that; but I never knew he had these beautiful thoughts in his dark tunnel of a mind. He left me this note to tell me how much I meant to him, but I never got to tell him about how much he meant to me.

And now he's gone.

I never got to tell him how confident he made me feel in myself, or how special I felt when he kissed me. I loved him more then anyone on this planet. He taught me so many things; he taught me how to be strong, how to trust, how to love.

The evilest man on earth taught me how to love.

He was fixing me as much as I was subconsciously fixing him. The unplanned feelings for each other slipped through the cracks of our fingers and created something beautiful. We were the polar opposites- but yet our hearts somehow understood each other.

We were toxic from the beginning. I was the naive nineteen year old that hasn't seen much of life outside of her gated town and he was the psychotic serial killer who had a thirst to place misery and pain on others.

But yet we fell in love- and fell hard. The feeling of love was so new to the both of us, and we were going in blind. We ran into many hardships along the way, but that's what happens when you have no clue what your doing- all you know is that you love them.

He was always so magnetic, so dangerous- and maybe I secretly liked that. I liked the mystery he was orchestrating behind his piercing emerald eyes. If I never pushed myself to find out what's stored away in his dark exterior, then I never would've learned about how lovable he really was.

He made me realize that their was so much beauty hiding in the dark while their was so many horrors in the light of what I thought I knew.

When I felt the cold gust of wind hit me, I opened my eyes and looked at the old wooden front door. I have no idea how long I've been sitting here for- but I know it's been a while. Harry told that the second I get up here I need to go to this cabin he has, but I don't want to leave.

The cold gust of wind alarms me a little, because after all of this; I haven't even looked outside. Harry wanted me to see the trees- he wanted me to see life for its beauty.

I slowly stand to my feet, taking the note and putting it in the envelope again, sticking it into his jacket pocket. I take his long chained necklace and put it around my neck so it draped down to almost my abdomen. My staggered sharp breathing still remains while my hands shake in his pockets from anxiety. I walk timidly towards the old door and open it up.

The minute I open the door, a calming gust of wind hits me in the face, pulling my hair back gracefully. The wind is colder on my cheeks because of my tears. I look outside to see that I am in a forest, and the trees are stunning. Fresh air fills my unsteady lungs as I look up at the branches swaying in the wind.