Second Chances [work in progress]

Part 1 of Chapter 2

Louis' POV

*present moment*

As I finish re-living the memories of that dreadful day, I'm snapped back to reality and I realize I'm still on the floor. I climb back into bed and glance at the clock. It's 5:00 AM, and I'm wide awake. No use in trying to go back to sleep now. Thank god it's Saturday, at least I can just stay in bed and think as long as my pathetic, lazy ass wants.

It's been a full two weeks since Zayn left me. And although I'd like to be able to say that I'm doing fine, to be honest I'm not sure how I'm doing at all. It still hurts, god it hurts so fucking much. Of course it does, I was in love with the boy. But that's another thing... I was. I've been thinking more and more every day about the reasons he gave for ending our relationship, and they're actually starting to make sense now that I'm thinking somewhat clearly. I do miss him dearly, but not as much as I thought I would.

I replay his words in my head, "What we want isn't always what we need." Zayn was everything I wanted. How could he think I didn't need him? Even now, when I'm starting to accept that it's over, I still feel like I need him. If I don't need him, why has there been this steady ache in my chest since he left? When he drove away from me that day, he took a piece of my heart with him. Now it's like there's an empty space within me that only Zayn can fill.

He said he loved me, but that he didn't love me the way he should. What did he mean by that? I'm not entirely sure. I wish I knew, a complete understanding of what he was trying to tell me might make this whole situation easier to cope with. I can't just ask him, I mean, we haven't talked since the day we broke up. I don't know if we ever will. I'm still debating how I feel about the possibility of never speaking to him again.

Part of me doesn't want to face the boy who broke my heart, my first and only love. At the same time, part of me knows that I won't be able to live without Zayn being part of my life in some way. I'd miss him too much. Zayn wasn't just my boyfriend, he was one of my best friends. We definitely need some time apart right now, but I would like to believe that we can have something close to a normal friendship again someday.

The only thing that I do know for sure is that even if I manage to totally get over Zayn, I'm giving up on love from here on out. I don't care what he's told me about how I'll find someone better, I don't want better. I want him. All love does is get people hurt. I don't want to hurt like this ever again. So why bother putting myself in a situation where heartbreak is inevitable? Louis Tomlinson is done with long term dating.

I conclude that I've moped in bed long enough and decide to get up and make myself presentable. I've been up for hours tossing and turning under the covers looking for a comfy position. I probably don't even look anything close to human. I inspect myself in front of the mirror and just as I suspected, my unruly hair gives off the impression that I've either just had some really rough sex or been hit by a truck... Possibly both.

Luckily it doesn't take very long to fix, and within the twenty minutes it took me to brush my teeth, shower and style my hair -- which by the way is my new record timing, -- I've gone from homeless drug addict to average high school student. I've got nothing to do today, so I don't bother dressing nice. I settle for a pair of black sweatpants and a grey hoodie that Zayn once left here. Don't judge me... I like it, and I'm keeping it.

My mom and sisters are out shopping and my dad is out of town on a business trip so I'm the only one in the house. To be honest, I'm starting to get lonely here all by myself so I decide to text Liam and see if he wants to come over and hang out.

Hey Li, you busy today?

My phone buzzes immediately.

New text - Liam: Nah, why?

At least Liam is never too busy for me, I don't know what I'd do without my best friend.

Come over. I'm bored.

Liam: Alright, I'll be there in 20.

Key is under the mat for ya.

Liam: You just don't wanna have to get up off your lazy bum to answer the door.

That would be correct. See ya!

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AN - Hiya loves! I finished writing the chapter early so I figured I'd post it today since I'm going to be out all weekend and probably won't have time to update later. Sorry that this one is short but I wanted to write the second half of it in Liam's POV so I decided to split it into two parts. Part 2 will be up by Tuesday hopefully!

Please let me know what you thought of the chapter and don't forget to vote/comment. :)

Also, tomorrow it will be @xSilenced_Spiritsx's birthday!! So everyone go wish her a very happy birthday and check out her book "How To Date A Gay Guy" it's not a fanfic, but I promise you'll like it.

Love you Taylor, dedicating this chappie to you darling! <3 Can't wait to celebrate with you and the others! :D

- C xx