radiance | baekhyun

49

22:51.

he'd left minseok and roma sitting on the sofa, the tv on in the background, the two engrossed in light conversation, minseok listening carefully and roma speaking in that quiet, pretty way of hers. sunset flooding in, spilling over the couch. two golden shadows. repletion and content. 

it would be dark soon. 

baekhyun had desperately needed some fresh air; needed to be alone for just a moment. the last few days had been calm. almost, oddly calm, as if a storm was brewing. not again, he thought. too soon. couldn't be.

berlin was a big place.

by the time that he was walking down the streets, the towering buildings had been cloaked in a humid dimness, filtering through the widened roads, the cathedral, infiltrating people's fleeting conversations and exclamations. 

the bar was familiar as soon as he took two steps through the front door. practically uninhabited: empty bar stools, clear but dirty glasses hanging down, unfamiliar faces. music crackling in the dimmed speakers. a grumpy barman.

heavy, wooden door slamming shut resounded around the enclosed area. no-one's heads turned, either too consumed by the banal advertisements being repeated on the small screen, or too inebriated to notice. baekhyun assumed a combination of the two, perhaps more-so the latter.

he ordered himself a drink, something strong, and sat himself down by the window, a place that the other customers had chosen to ignore, for fear of passers-by looking in, or something. shielding themselves from the outside world. the moon was bright, he could give them that. almost blinding, as he seated himself onto the creaking chair, the dusty table-top shimmering with the opaque glow that it splayed across its ancient expanse.

his light cough also went unnoticed; the squint of his eyes, bringing his hand up to cover himself momentarily.

crackling music. 

even the scraping of his chair drew no attention. 

he sighed deeply, letting his head lean back. 

baekhyun reminisced of the fond memories in this bar.

when him and minseok had first moved here together, it had been similar weather. sun shining and a thick, industrial breeze, circling around the city streets. summer before. baekhyun had been less happy and composed, though, the move here having been a symbol of escapism. leaving behind a life that he knew would be impossible to ever completely return to. 

an unavoidable escape.

he took a long gulp of his drink.

ran his hand through his hair. the front was getting too long, he thought to himself. 

he recalled the tension as they boarded the airplane from seoul; as they trudged down the metallic, steep steps into the new setting, wide expanse of tarmac, the jet engine thundering in their ears; as they found the address of the apartment, unlocking the front door, its bare entity providing the opposite of comfort, door creaking and lightbulbs smashed. 

the quickened glanced that had passed between the two boys, stood in minseok's new and empty living room, their vision touching only momentarily, but enough to convey the message that they had known things would be different from now on. 

baekhyun remembered both of them desperate to leave the awkward and tense silence of the flat. desperate for a drink. and they'd slammed and locked the door shut, setting off on their path through the straight-edged city streets. 

the city had seemed so foreign back then. 

they'd stumbled across this bar. nothing special; beer and a general quiet, something that both of them appreciated. but it became a regular place, and integrated through his happier memories of the year progressing, as the electric impulses had began to subside, slowly, letting him breathe.