Shades of Red and Blue

***

Apples are red, berries are blue.

If I'll say I love you, will you say you love me too?

***

Love is a very powerful feeling that can hold many definitions. Others say that love is a feeling of strong affection towards a person. I also heard my professor said that love is simple as you define it but it's complicated as you will feel it. Love is something but it can also be nothing.

I was in third year college when love found a way for the both of us, or for me rather. It may sound clichè but the moment I laid my eyes on him, I already knew that he will have a special part in my life. And I'm so lucky for I had a chance to know him better.

We talked, we laughed, we fought.

And just a typical girl who has a guy bestfriend, I fell in love. Never say that I'm such a dumb for falling in love with my bestfriend 'cause heaven knows how I tried to forget my feelings for him. So I tried to confess my feelings for him instead. He remained silent for a moment, but hey! it doesn't need to be answered, anyway.

***

Roses are red, violets are blue.

Yes I said, I love you

But I'm not forcing you to love me too.

***

Since the day I confessed my feelings for him, he became extra caring to me. I showed him that I'm happy but deep inside, pain is striking me, for I know that he loves somebody else yet he chose to stay beside me. I'm not a hypocrite to say that I don't like what he's doing. In fact, it is exactly the way I wanted it to be. But my conscience is eating me up. I can't afford to see him hurting just because he had me and not the girl he loves.

It took me a lot of courage to let him go. I love him so much yet I gave him up. And giving up doesn't mean I'm weak. It only means that I'm brave enough to accept the fact that I can no longer hold on to someone who was not meant for me.

***

Bloodstains are red, goodbyes are blue.

Don't you ever feel guilty

'Cause I never regret loving you.

***

After I let him go, I saw a glimpse of happiness in his eyes. And that made me a bit glad. Atleast I made him happy even though I caused pain to myself. (And yes, I really caused too much pain to myself).

That very same day, I met an accident. I was in deep thought when I crossed the road so I didn't notice that there was a truck rushing to my direction. I got a head injury and I was confined in the hospital for months. He was there beside me all the time. And just his mere presence is already more than enough.

During my healing, he confessed to me. He said he likes me and asked if we could give it another try. I can't utter any word. I was so shocked! He likes me and maybe, not as much as I love him but I'm positive that it will soon lead there.

We gave our relationship a try and I totally forgot that I already let him go.

***

I can't held myself from smiling. Its been years since then but I can still remember every details of it.

Here I am, walking down the aisle.

I can't remove my gaze from him. He looks so handsome with his three-piece-suit and he's wearing a smile on his face. I remember that I once dreamed that I will walk down the aisle while he is waiting for me at the altar. And my dream came true. The difference is, he's not waiting for me but for his bride-to-be.

I mouthed a congratulations to him and we all waited for his bride to reach the end of the aisle.

Are you wondering what happened after we tried?

We didn't work out.

We have several things about each other that we can't understand. Our priorities, our careers. And everytime we see each other, we always have altercations that we let unsolved.

So we decided to broke up. We realized that our feelings for each other were not enough foundation to make our realtionship tough. We gave each other a space and time to move on.

That day, I thought losing him was the best decision that I can make to save myself from being wrecked. But what happened was the other way around— I grieved for his lost.

I did many things to forget him. I made myself busy. I focused on my career. At first, it was very hard for me but as the time passed by, I learned to live without him. And then poof! One day, I just woke up feeling better. I'm not thinking about him anymore. I can already smile, genuinely. I am simply... happy.

We became friends again and we learned to forget the bad things happened in the past.

***

We gave a round of applause to the newly wed couples. I'm glad that he finally found the right girl for him. As for me, I already found mine... seven years ago.

Unfortunately, he is not meant for me. Yes, he is the right guy but he is not destined to be mine, for I am already his father's wife.

***

END