Growing up (Sabine x Ezra fanfic)

Chapter I

Disclaimer: Disney Owns SWR

Sabine POV

Groaning I raised the saber, hours of intense, laborious training left me weak and exhausted while the tears and sweat mix upon my face to create a labyrinth of marks. Gasping I look up to my opponent, my enemy, my friend, brother...perhaps more. My arm aches to lift the metal handle, and so my fingers release their death hold, as if the life has slipped from them completely. Ironically, I'm alive but the man who handed it to me, told me to lead, fight and breath for my planet is nothing more than ashes. Suddenly, a gently yet firm hand brings me back to the present, with the incoherent words not reaching the depths of my mind.

"Sabine, hey, you ok?"

Looking at the boy that would once take this opportunity to laugh at me, now studies me with concern, concern for if I'm a liability, the criticism evident in the ice eyes of his.

"You can't do this on the field, Sabine. We need you here. This is a rebellion."

"You think I don't know that Ezra? It's just too soon. I can't forget...forget the last time I saw his face." I reply, my voice getting steadily more and more broken. His eyes, already an impossibly unfeeling cold, freeze at the mention of his master. Former master. Then, somewhere, I see something break, another chip of Ezra falls to the void, to Oblivion, never to be recovered.

His hand grip my shoulder tightly for a moment, and I thought, for an instant, that he would do something rash. Instead his eyes continue to bore into me, making me feel even more and more vulnerable, his hands eventually loosening their malicious grip upon my shoulder.

He gives off a sigh and sits down on the earth, his voice a deep baritone of foul hatred of the empire,

"We have to destroy them, Sabine. We will never live in peace, never move on. No one wants to fight the war, but they have to. For freedom, for family. We know that the best."

Shaking my head, I whisper, "What about our family, Ezra? What about our freedom? Freedom to choose? To run?"

He looks at me through confused eyes, their iris's now a warmer blue.

"Run? But...where? Where is safe? Everywhere we go, we cannot escape the Empire. We have two choices. Surrender or fight."

"How can you not see that this rebellion will kill you before a blaster bolt will? You never look at me the same, as if I am the least important person here. All you do is misson upon misson for the rebellion but you fail to create something to fight for Ezra!"

He looks at me through narrow slits, the approaches my face, his head right beside mine as his breath sweeps by my earlobe.

"I fight for you, Sabine. I always have. I always cared for you. You just never showed it back. So what, or who do you fight for?" His question was left in the air, hanging as if a nose was waiting to snag and kill someone.

As he turns to leave, an unexpected desire to grab him comes over me, and my arm reaches grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around. Grabbing his collar, I push him to the wall, my head next to his.

"I fight for the Ezra who wanted a life of love and caring. His he still in you?"

He looks in my eyes, his slowly turning red and misty with tears. My hopes of finally breaking to him are dashed when he whispers,

"A part of me died with Kanan, Sabine. A large part. The work gets it off my mind. Sato is calling me."

He shrugs my hands off of him and walks up the ramp to the base, leaving me in the dust of pain and sadness.

"Why?" I whisper.

Ezra stops and looks at me, his eyes break for a moment, but soon harden up, as the armor goes over his appearance and person.

"Because they never paid the full price for his death."

I knew the fight was lost when I saw the anger in his eyes, burning with a lifetime source of pain and betray as fuel. The ramp closes behind him as if he walked away from me completely.
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The alarm for a air raid is sounded, with the Y-wings already fully equipped with their ion torpedos with the A wings prepared for bomber escort. I look at Ezra but he won't meet my eye. The argument we had obviously still fresh on his mind. But i still approach him nonetheless, he is my wingman after all.. Putting my hand on his shoulder he turns, his eyes bloodshot and tired.

"Got your back, Bridger. You'll make it out."

He attempts a smile but it fails. He's broken inside, I realise. Broken far more than I realise. His eyes closed as silent tears slip from his eyes, down his face creating a path of despair upon his cheeks. I wipe his tears away from his face as he breaks down, taking him to a corner for privacy sake. His sobbing continues until he gains enough cohesion of his emotions to conjure, "I saw his body fall, Sabine. It fell and fell. When we reached it...it wasn't a body...just pulp."

"Ezra...he loved you..."

"It didn't sav-"

"He didn't die in vain, Ezra. He died so we could carry the mantel."

"I..." He clears his throat as his builds his composure. He looks me in the eyes and hard hands come to my cheek. "I never stopped loving you Sabine. From day one. You remember, right? Huh, seems like yesterday that we were doing Vizago missions, not raids on Emperical shipments. Don't leave me again, I won't last in this rebellion. I want to see you again. Talk to you. We need to. We need to move on."

He walks away, his awkward admission, clear as mist, made me swallow a sob. The fact that there is still someone there, feeling, caring and loving for me causes a smile to cross my face.

"You'll make it. I'll be there for you." I mumble to no one is particular, my mind now focused at the task ahead.

Clambering on the fighter, the rebellion proceeded to set out the strike force, in hopes to catch a passing Imperial shipment unawares.

The plan was simple. First disable the engines on the cargo freighter, then destroy all escort and enemy hostiles in the area. Afterwards, loot the cargo and come back. Should be simple. Should.
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"This is Sergeant Bridger, my right wing is hit, with my gunner shot. He won't make it unless I get this TIE off of me. He's bleeding bad. Our re-entry to atmosphere has caused massive damage to the structural integrity. We need backup."

"Hang on, Ezra, I'm on my way. Take a turn to me now, the TIE will overshoot!" I reply

"Negative, Sabine, he's better than most. He'll see it comi- fuck there's two of them, Antilles(gunner) stay with me!

"Take that turn or you going to be a dead man, Bridger!"

His Y-Wing takes the sudden turn, the left wing groans upon the stress, bending the metal fuselage under the intense G force. The next thing I see is a ball of flames, and screams through the com link as the bomber heads towards the ground, with no one jumping out to save themselves.