The Obituary of David Stansfieldiangrey

         Tonight's story is... well, incredibly tragic. As you all know, we lost a profound artist yesterday, David Stansfieldiangrey. He was 34 years old, survived by his partner, Eric Thomas. 

David was an actor, singer, writer and director. He grew up loving film from the time he was 4 years old and had such an incredible, unique way of storytelling. "He inspired and will be greatly missed by so many," Susan Stansfieldiangrey, his sister said of her late brother, Thursday morning, just hours after hearing the news of her brothers passing.

"I remember the day we met," Scott Truman, film producer and director begins, "we met to get lunch, to get to know each other, I wanted to cast him in the film, Unreachable Heights in Today's Society and found him to be quite genuine and charming. I remember he gave me a hug when we met at the restaurant and said how much he loved my work, my feelings were mutual of course... he was after all.. a genius. We ended up getting boozy at the brunch and he got a driver for me when our meeting ended. He was very kind and thoughtful. We grew very close over the years after that day. Honestly, I considered him to be my best friend, a brother. He was a true, honest man."

Fan letters from all over the world have poured into theStandsfieldiangrey home. The hashtag, #RIPDavidStansfieldiangrey on Twitter has been the most tweeted hashtag to ever trend on the site. The entire internet and all news stations from every continent are in mourning over the loss of David today. It's as if time has stood still. Yet, no one knew his tragic, sudden death was so.. tragic and sudden... until now.

This is how it happened one night...

DavidStansfieldiangrey's autopsy report has been quite puzzling and frankly, bizarre. It says he suffered a blow to his head, the frontal bone, had a small cut on his right cheek, a few random placed bruises on his face, forearms & abdomen. He also had a broken neck.

Cause of death.. panic.

He was found in his bathroom at home in Beverly Hills around 2 in the morning by his partner Eric Thomas who said, "it looked like anaccident." There were no drugs found in his system and he was completely sober.

David was sitting in his bedroom on a Wednesday evening. It was late and he was getting tired.. he had been reading and doing a little bit of writing for the past few hours and decided to get ready to go to sleep. As he crossed the room, found the TV remote and turned it on, just wanting to break the silence and hear a little noise. And whoah and behold, Richard Jenkins, his favorite comedian was talking with John Collins from The Incredibly Late Hour Tonight Show. David entered his bathroom, grabbed his toothbrush and listened to the conversation.. chuckling.

Paste applied he walked back into his bedroom and began brushing, all the while taking in every word and began laughing out loud. The comedian started performing a bit of his newest stand up routine.

And that's when it started.

David's now violent laugh caused a stir in his throat, and he began choking on his toothpaste and asphyxiating on his spit. His eyes became watery as he coughed and spat.. still slightly laughing at the roaring television blaring the dark humor he loved so much. Now lunged over, hands on his knees, he tried to take a breath but couldn't. His thoughts began reeling.

David..get a fucking grip..

BREATHE DAMMNIT!

But none of his inner dialogue seemed to help.. as he continued to gasp for air, his face screwed up, becoming more and more the deep hue of crimson red. He stumbled towards the bathroom, spitting and coughing into the sink, angrily as if the sink had caused an offense David held onto with agrudge for years. He looked up and caught his reflection in the mirror, still just barely getting any air down his now sore throat which was by this time, throbbing. He looked like a complete shit show, wheezing and coughing.. his eyes looked blood shot and all the veins that could possibly flair up whenone's having a lunatic hawking fit, flaunted themselves on his now, beat red skin.

He hit the sink in rage with his fist, which caused a cheap, plasticrazor to fly up and skid across his right cheek. He tried to wail but was only able to choke out inaudible, gurgled sounds.

DAVID. PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER. DAMNIT!

Meanwhile, the television in the other room could be heard from the where David was standing in his bathroom and he still couldn't help but chortle but tried desperately not to.

Which reminded him of an old school prank back when he was only a boy of 10 in the 5th grade. One day at school, there had been a substitute who had taken over the class and for that entire day. The class had been acting up, not paying attention to the new teacher at all but instead, causing her to go mad. Mrs.Brash was her name and she was completely unable to wield the students into submission to learn anything. They were giving her a hard time and thoroughly enjoying it. Whether it was tapping their pencils in unison, answering to other students names when taking attendance, making fart noises with their armpits when the teacher turned around, super gluing her top drawer shut whenever she left the room, slamming their books when she tried to read, using their plastic rulers to reflect sunlight from the window onto the whiteboard when she tried to teach, and countless other mischievous shenanigans made for a fun filled day. David also got caught.. he had been standing on his chair doing a silly dance when Mrs. Brash had her back turned, writing something on the board which made the entire class snicker.

Then she turned around, and David trying to sit quickly, just wasn't quick enough. At that moment, he remembered trying so hard not to laugh, holding in his breath as the Mrs. Brash walked toward him and stared. He remembered feeling that tingling sensation of laughter boiling inside him, those moments when you know it would be highly inappropriate to laugh so desperately struggle not to.

Like at a library, if you read something hilarious, attempt to hold in your laugh and fail, then getting shushed by everyone hovered over their books. Or in this instance, when the substitute teacher is apparently talkingto you, waiting for your response but you can't even hear what she's saying and just watch her lips move... actually, she had been yelling. But in David's mind, it had been like watching a slow motion movie with no sound.. all he could do was sit, feeling all the terror of being caught. He was sent to the principles office and his mom got a call. He had burst into a laugh that day which he tried to cover with a cough...not fooling anyone.. especially the substitute.

Present David, now thinking of that moment, tried to just cough out whatever was lodged in his throat. But he that only made things worse. He stomped his foot and slapped the counter top in frustration, all the while gasping, his lungs on fire.

He pulled on the shower curtain, with a little too much force and the curtain with all of it's rings broke free from the rod, coming down on David. One ring hitting his forearm, a few hitting his chest and also his abdomen. David howled in pain and went into a raging panic.He spun from the sink, slipped and ... well.. 

this is how one comes to bite the dust. He fell, and as he fell his head smacked the sink, hard while breaking his neck.

David now lay on the floor taking in his last few breathes of air.. he thought of some of the things he had planned to do the following morning.. not at it's utmost importance.. go to post, or to find a stupid holiday sweater for the Ugly Christmas Sweater party that was approaching... which Eric had been bothering him for days about ..oh. David thought..

Eric. I'll call for Eric, he thought but only wheezes came out.

At 1:45 in the morning, the last words David heard were from RichardJenkins, his favorite comedian.