The Unexpected Romantic

Chapter 9.1: Contemplation

(Phana)

Player.

That's what many people who don't know me very well call me.

I don't waste my time correcting them. I don't care what they think about me. Just because I am being nice to most of the girls who approach me, people think I am a heartless seducer.

I know myself. I still do.

And I haven't changed my mind either.

Neither giving in nor giving up is an option no matter how hard it is. No matter how difficult it is to control myself and fall for someone else. It has to stop!

I never asked to be popular. You can all blame my genes for my good looks, but I've got to admit, I enjoy the attention most of the time. The screams, giggles and whispers whenever I stride along the hallway. Endless messages, phone calls and even gifts from people I do not know. Really overwhelming!

When I entered this university, the only thing I thought of was realizing my dream of becoming a doctor, and this school was my first step.

I knew all about the things that freshmen students experience. I was aware of the Star and Moon Competition going on in universities. I just did not know that I would actually be in it. Many people had mentioned to me not just once that I was the best to represent the College of Medicine.

They would say I was perfect. That I had everything that'd make me win. That I would surely win. And then I did. But I wasn't at all expecting that because deep inside, I was also feeling afraid. Insecure. Inept. I doubted myself all because of one person. A person who made me forget who I really was. Who I really longed for. Who I really love.

FLASHBACK

How can I make it to the photo shoot on time when all these professors from my college are talking to me one after the other?

Today is the first day of the Campus Star and Moon Competition rehearsals, and I really want to make a good impression, but after the professors found out about me joining the competition, today, of all day, they decided to see me, so I drop by quickly at their office.

The practice hall is a tad far from where my college is, so I have to run to get there so as not to be too late. Driving there will only make things worse. I don't want to be tagged as a special prince making an entrance while they are probably all set.

Just as I am thinking, I am late, so when I enter the door of the hall, everybody turns their head to look at me. And they're all ready.

"Sawadee krap! I am really sorry!"

I have to wai and apologize for being late. I make a polite gesture with my hands, bow my head a little and look at everybody in the room from left to right. I really am sorry. I did not mean to make them wait.

From the corner of my eye, I know someone has been staring at me since I entered the room. Still catching my breath, I wai to the last person in the hall. When I turn to that someone, there's no reaction at all, just a sharp stare. Expressionless somehow. It's making me nervous. I swallow really hard. Gee! The people in this room make me want to back out and just go home. This is going to be a tough ride. And an interesting one, too!

Rehearsals really stress me out. Especially when we have to finish late. My two jerk best friends never seem to give up on me anyway. They patiently wait for me no matter how late it gets. They even bring me some snacks sometimes. And of course, they enjoy gawking at the star candidates, so I never hear them complain.

Exhausted, hungry, sweaty. All that but I have a furtive way of escaping the reality. Just by staring at him, I am able to regain focus. The way he practices hard makes me think twice about my chances of winning.