Never Forget *Narry*

4. Over Again

written by intoyour_arms

"So Niall, how are you doing today?"

I stared around the quaint office with a small amount of distaste. I didn't like being here. I didn't like it for many reasons, but the number one reason I didn't like it was because it was like admitting defeat. Sitting here in this office to discuss a past I couldn't even remember was like saying I was a liar. I wasn't a liar, I simply couldn't remember how I got to this point in my life. I remembered the important things like my name, my family, and everything in between, but right now I was trying to grieve for my sister and everyone was treating her death like some old forgotten thing that I should be over by now.

I wasn't over it.

"I'm fine." Short answers should get me out of here the quickest, if I kept them short and to the point then he really couldn't overanalyze me, could he? It wasn't even the fact that I disliked Ed; I just simply disliked what he stood for. He was a reminder of the blanks that I couldn't fill and I didn't like that.

"How are your injuries progressing? Dr. Lockhart said you're progressing well. Your leg has been set and is taking to the cast well whilst your bruises and cuts have been healing the best they can this past week. And your hair seems to be growing back a bit, though how is the fracture doing? How does it feel?"

Well this was an easy question. As long as weren't going to start digging into my memory I could do this. I could do anything as long as I didn't have to keep drudging that shit up.

"My head is fine, for the most part, it's just certain things make it ache. Like, I don't even know if I can explain it properly. I'll be sitting there having a nap and all of a sudden this searing pain will rush through my head and I don't know what's wrong with me. Certain things make my brain feel as if it was about ready to explode and I just-fuck, I hate it."

Ed was quiet for a while just staring at me. I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do with myself exactly so I ended up staring down at the floor, my cast encasing one leg while the other was lying across my wheelchair rather easily. I had bruises everywhere so I was confided to a wheelchair until most of my body healed, they were afraid that I would end up falling down and injuring myself even worse than I'd already managed to do. How they thought that was possible, I didn't know, but hey I still had two arms and one leg I hadn't broken yet, apparently they were looking out for those.

"Can you think of a specific time it's happened, or is it just random?" Ed's voice was soft and caring and I tried my best to think of something I could say that could help him. I tried to pinpoint the exact moments that a pain would hit me, but I couldn't say. It was all random; it just all seemed so... random.

"I don't know, it's like it comes out of nowhere." I shrugged my shoulders a bit, wincing as I caught a bruise that was unused to the movement.

"Well when it does happen try and write it down, alright? Make note of what was going on around you when it happens, and maybe we'll be able to figure it out." I nodded my head, and we continued on with the session.

We talked about many things, but mostly it was just what I could remember. My childhood, my family, my friends, the lot of it, though for some reason I felt like we were skirting around something-something that Ed really wanted to be discussing with me, and it wasn't what my old teddy bear's name was. I had a feeling that whatever was going on right now was routine, he wanted to see exactly how much I remembered before he started in on the real stuff-the hard stuff.

"So tell me Niall... how's Liam?" I frowned a bit at that, thinking back to that day over a week ago when he'd come into my room yelling up a storm of shit and scaring the living fuck out of me.