somedays, hajime feels like the hajime koushi used to know. naive as a baby. fresh faced with love to share. plethora of willingness to love. to love without worries of the shadow of humanity. koushi misses him like that. hajime would giggle. laugh. his lips straining for the joyous look that many loved and adored. even his hair was different. free from stress. bounding up and down when he ran, like it had a mind of its own. hajime would bask in the rays of rare sunshine. his arms were always outstretched for a warm embrace.
koushi sighs.
but now he's so careful. never wanting to risk anything. he makes his home with the army of his own mind, never wanting to leave. like a ship never wanting to sail. he limited his freedom. but for his freedom, he sacrificed the happiness that comes with it. he is highlighted with boring dark grey, with no tint or shadow of euphoria.
asahi had long forgiven him. but hajime insists on using his battered heart and soul for his own punching bag. hajime belittles himself with poison and with the force of a dozen demons. asahi worries. mattsun and makki worries. he's off his axis. tilted.
it was hajime that always reminded koushi to stay balanced. but look at hajime now; too careful
hajime won't ever make a mistake again.
careful
