Orange. Orange. Orange.
I have a fever that won't go away and I
haven't gone to a doctor cause I hate doctors and hospitals and the sight of blood makes me nauseous.
My husband Nash of course keeps pestering me to go and I keep ignoring him.
At night in bed I haven't been able to feel warm, always shivering even though it was summertime and Nash doesn't keep me warm anymore. I don't feel well but i keep ignoring it.
I have nightmares about death every time I go to sleep. I can't look in the mirror without flinching. I cant remember that last time I had a proper meal. But I keep ignoring those thoughts.
Nash doesn't talk to me much anymore. I have this intense fear of loosing him and I know I depend on him way too much but I can't help it.
He always wanted kids, but I can't give him any.
I want him to be happy and I know he'll be much happier without me, but I can't let him go. I can't make him leave me.
I need him.
