Maybe Someday • Chris Brown

Circle of Life

Riley.

My eyes were glued as I watched four pallbearers slowly walk an American Flag covered coffin into the sanctuary. I couldn't even cry anymore, it was to the point where I was more upset than sad. My brother had so much going for himself, and it was all taken away way too soon. I looked around at the crowd of people and noticed a few wearing black. "Why the fuck are they wearing black?"

Raheem told us to wear bright colors at his funeral if he goes before us. It was a celebration of his life; he didn't want it to be colorless. Chris pulled me close and rested my head on his shoulder. "Baby please don't curse in a church. Maybe some people just didn't get the memo."

"I know something they can get...out." I settled. Soon, some random ass old lady that I didn't know turned around and shushed us. It had to be the first lady of the church. "Girl I'll slap this beauty supply store wig off your head. You shh!" She mean mugged me with her wrinkly eyes.

"Riley!" Daddy warned. I rolled my eyes and leaned my head back on Chris.

"In honor of Airman Raheem Novak's service for us and our country, we ask that the next of kin please come forth and hold our Flag high, as we would like to start this celebration of life off with the National Anthem. Will everyone please stand?" The Honor Guard announced at the podium. I was the next of kin, but I wasn't holding an American flag for shit.

Fuck the national anthem. And fuck everything it stood for.

My brother would still be alive if he didn't live by it.

"I'll pass." I made clear, loud enough for the Guard to hear. Everyone began standing as I remained seated.

"Riley." Daddy sternly stated. "What?"

"What is your problem?"

"My problem is that I'm not about to stand for an anthem that doesn't even respect me as twice the minority...black and a woman."

"Riley your brother served as an airman for this country for seven years."

"And I bet a million bucks he still went upon being oppressed by these so called Soldiers. Like I said, I'll pass."

"Look Riley, we know you're all... pro black and what not but this is your brother. He died for us. I know he wouldn't want you up here bratting it up over holding a piece of cloth. If you don't wanna hold the flag, at least go up there to show respect; if not for America, for Raheem." India pepped.

"Alright, cool."

If I go up there, I'm definitely making a statement.

The lady who shushed me led a crowd of people to the choir stands and the instrumental for the Star Spangled Banner played through the speakers. I trailed behind them shortly and stood next to my brother.

"Oh say can you see
By the dawn's early light."

Once I heard the first few words, I placed my hand on Raheem's casket and kneeled on one knee. I got a gasp or two but I didn't care. I made sure I didn't move a muscle the whole time.

Like I said I'm making a statement.

"For the land of the free
And the home of the brave."

A few more chords played and I made my way back to the church pew I was in. Tasha reached over and gripped my knee. "Raheem would do the same thing." She smiled brightly with welling tears in her eyes