PAIN KILLERS #wattys2018(REVISED)

Chapter 5: she was my happy pill✔

Yol Sang Kim
Birthday: February 14, 1994
Death: December 24,2016
"She was my happy pill."

-

I laid on my bed for almost an hour. I could feel beads of sweat rolling down my temples and neck as my droopy eyes threatened to close. I couldn't leave my bed due to the numbness I felt throughout my body that I'd been feeling for the past hour.

I took my pain killers again.

I blinked my eyes repeatedly, tears threatening to spill out of them. I sat up and stared at the
bathroom door.

Suddenly, an idea popped into my head.

I stood up and walked toward the end of my grief, sorrow and sadness. I walked towards death.

I turned the knob of my bathroom door. It felt good, finally embracing death again.

Is this what I really wanted all this time?

For the pain and sadness to engulf my entire life?

This is what I'm supposed to do, isn't it?

If Yol Sang Kim were here, would she stop me?

Will I ever be able to kill myself?

Is she the reason for all of this?

Do I really want this?

Questions like this spiraled around in my mind as I stared blankly ahead.

-

(Kim Yeol's P.O.V, earlier that day)

After I had helped him, he decided he wanted to go home.

"I'll take you home. You might collapse on the street, you're too weak to even stand," I said as I
stared at his emotionless face.

He shrugged his shoulders lazily. "I guess I don't have a choice, right?" he snapped.

"Right! Come on, I'll drive you home." I grabbed my keys and went to the garage as he followed.

He got into the passenger seat and buckled his seat belt. I did the same.
"Tell me what directions I'm supposed to go in," I said. He nodded.

After a bit of driving, I spoke. "Uh, mind if I ask you something personal?" I asked.

He shrugged. "There's nothing to hide anyways." His voice was emotionless, and broken.

"Why do you keep trying to kill yourself?" I asked. I glanced at his blank face. He sighed.

"Depression. From my girlfriend's death." His voice was cold and solid.
I slammed on the brake, making us stumble forward. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." I
mentally facepalmed.

"It's fine. Like I said, I have nothing to hide," he replied. Dim lights from the cars driving by reflected onto his sullen face, and I could see his tears.

I stepped on the gas and the engine roared. We drove for about another hour, and the conversation resulted in a very tense and silent trip.

I broke the uncomfortable silence. "Is this your house?" I asked. I glanced at him, only to find that he had fallen asleep.

"Sir~?" I poked him. He jolted awake, startled yet annoyed.

"Where's your damn house? I've been circling around this subdivision for a while now, I thought you were awake," I scolded him as I pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration.

"Oh," he replied simply. His eyes were droopy as he let out a yawn. I rolled my eyes.

"Well, where is it?" I asked.
"Huh?" he asked, his eyes widening and his mouth parting.

"Your house, dumbass," I responded before letting out a long groan.
"Oh. We're already here?"

"Get out!" I yelled pointing at the door.

"W-Why?" he asked, completely dumbfounded.

"Get out, now!" I exclaimed, unlocking his door.

He pushed the door open and dragged himself out of the car. "Thanks for bringing me back home," he said, closing the door and walking to his doorstep before turning around and waving goodbye.

I waved back. He's too cute, I mumbled under my breath as I watched him rummage through his
pockets and open the door with his keys. I smiled to myself.

-

(Min Jinu's P.O.V, present)

I walked into my bathroom and opened the drawer before grabbing a container and proceeding to pour every last pill in the bottle onto my palm.

This was it. No one could stop me now.

I swallowed a few of the solid pills down my dry throat. My door bell rung almost immediately.

Not a good time, I thought.

I sighed, embracing the pain as it slowly spread throughout my body.
Death was approaching me.

I fell onto my bed, letting out a loud groan.

"Jinu?" That voice. I tried to open my weary eyes.

"I know you're in there. Open the door, I need to use your bathroom. Please," Yeol whined
outside the door. I couldn't move because of the pills I took. My body felt numb.

"Jinu?!" she yelled outside.

"Fuck," I cursed. I rolled off my bed, falling onto the floor with a loud thud.
"Jinu! Are you okay? Do I need to ring an ambulance?" she yelled through the door.

"Min Jinu, answer me!" she pounded on the door impatiently.

She's the most annoying person in the world. I sighed as beads of sweat rolled down my face. I
stayed on the floor as tears began to stream out of my eyes.

(Kim Yeol's P.O.V, earlier that day)

I slept for a few hours, but couldn't sleep properly because I was so worried about Jinu. I should
visit him and see if he's doing okay.

I grabbed my car keys and dragged myself into the garage. I got in my car and stepped on the gas pedal as I began my drive to his house.

-

"I really need to go," I whined impatiently as I peered at the line to get into the bathroom. It
seemed to extend forever.

Jinu's house was only minutes away, maybe I could survive this. I ran towards Jinu's house, remembering the night I brought him to his house. He's too cute.

"Jinu, can I use your bathroom?" I rehearsed my speech as I approached his house. I pressed my ears to the front door, accidentally ringing the doorbell. I cursed.

After a few minutes of standing on his doorstep, a loud sound emitted from the inside of his house. "Jinu?" I called out. No response.

"I know you're in there. Open the door, I need to use your bathroom. Please." Whining outside
on his doorstep was embarrassing, but my bladder couldn't take it anymore.

"Jinu?!" I yelled from outside.
A loud thud filled my ears.

"Jinu! Are you okay? Do I need to ring an ambulance?" I yelled through the door.

"Min Jinu, answer me!"

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