Gorgeous Nightmare

Have you ever really danced on the edge?

I heard the door open, all the white in the room hurt my eyes so i just kept them closed. "evelynn, are you awake?" i head my mothers voice. OH SHIT! they called my mom? "Mommy, is that you?" the words slipped out of my mouth so innocently, she couldn't possibly do her routine bitching when i fuck up. "Why won't you open your eyes baby doll?" she asked pushing the hair out of my face and behind my ear. "The sun is making all this white hurt my eyes, can someone close the binds?" i sighed. Behind my eye lids, everything started to get dark, i popped on eye open to make sure it was okay, and when it was i opened both my eyes to see my mothers beautiful face. "I'm so glad your okay baby girl, i was so scared i was going to lose you." she hugged me as tight as she could. "Me too, Mama." I smiled taking in all the love she was smothering me with. 

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING TAKING DRUGS FROM SOME STRANGER, OR TAKING DRUGS AT ALL, EVELYNN. I KNOW I RAISED YOU BETTER THAN THIS."

annndd, the bitching begins..

 I'm sorry, but that's the thing i wasn't thinking. I just did it." i said sending my look of stupidity her way. "I won't ever touch them again, i swear i have learned my lesson. i promise no more."  I started to tear up, the thought of almost dying, really got to me. That could have been it. No more Vic, Mike, or the rest of the band, no more friends, or growing up, no future and most importantly... No more Lillian Casemen. my mom means well, and i know she does. She cares and thats all i could ever ask for... A mom that loves, cares and protects you. She's the best thing in my life right now. "Good, i proud to hear you say that." she smiled at me. Although, i couldn't help but feel like i was lying. But i really wanted to be done with the drugs.

At that very moment, i promised myself that this was it, no more drugs. I had to learn the value of the word "no."

There was a slight knock on the door, I looked over and my eyes met Vic's as my mother got off the bed. "I'll let you two talk, I'm gonna go find the doctor and see if i can bring you home today." She said pursing her lips together before walking out the room.  I looked down as he took a seat on my bed. a wave a shame and embarrassment crashed over me like a tsunami. "Look, before you talk, or say anything...Know that i'm very sorry i put you through this. I know it must have been scary..and i've already made myself and my mom a promise that i will never do drugs again." I explained myself without raising my head at all. He pulled me into a hug, i knew he was mad at me but i hugged him back anyway. I let out a huge sigh of relief before he pulled away and looked at me with  his cute boyish smile. "Evelynn i know you've been doing them with Justine for awhile now. You're mom told me while we were in the waiting room this morning." He said taking my hands into his. "We're best friends, why didn't you tell me that this was going on?"

Here comes that tsunami again...fuck my life...

I started to tear up. "I don't know, you seem so busy with the band, and we've hardly talked in awhile and this is the most we've hung out since we were kids. And i'm not saying this is the bands fault because i TOTALLY support you and your music, it's just when you stopped having all this time for me....annnndd you, i found Justine and i knew her habits and i knew that if i wanted to be friends with her i had to give in to that lifestyle. Drinking, partying and doing drugs. I just wanted to fit in somewhere, i guess. And once i finally felt like i did, i liked the feeling of being high..I felt like i had not a damn thing to worry about. My stress was gone, all my worries disappeared, and i liked it, and i didn't think this was ever going to happen. I didn't think it weed was a big deal.." I raised my head to reveal the stream that was running down my face from my eyes. 

He cupped my face with his hands and wiped my tears away. "I care about you, i really thought i was gonna lose you, Evelynn. & I don't want that, i would have lost a huge part of myself if that were to happen. Your everything to me, without you, i wouldn't have music to make." He said glamoring me with his dark brown eyes and his sexy smile. "I promise you i'm not going anywhere" i whispered grabbing his hand that was still placed on my face, keeping up with his gaze and matching his smile. Vic began to lean in slowly, our lips so close that I'm breathing in every breath he is taking. "Evelynn Casemen" i hear as break away from Vic and look up at my doctor.