teach me to be bad, m. clifford

#3: florence... hill?

PICTURE: ALEKSANDER HILL

My first day at school was significantly better than expected. I think it had a lot to do with the fact no one knew who I was. I'm sure when my last name was dropped it would be another story. But I was somewhat hopeful for now. I could prolong the last name thing for awhile. 

I didn't see Michael or the others again after lunch. We all had different classes and then I caught the bus home to avoid them offering me lifts. I got off the bus a block from my house then walked slowly. Going home was the least favourite part of my day. It had a lot to do with the fact my parents never stopped fighting. At least they didn't get home from work until five-thirty. 

I fished around in my bag for the keys as I walked up our porch. Before I could get them out the door opened. I dropped the keys back into my bag and straightened up as I stared at Tyler. 

It was easy to pretend like he wasn't my brother at school. No one would even think to connect the two of us. We shared a different mother and our skin range was extremely different. I could shrug off the questions at school but not at home. I take back what I said before. Seeing my parents was not the worst part of my day. It was making small talk to a brother who was a murderer.

"School already finished?" He asked quietly as I pushed past him. I threw my bag to the side, toed out of my shoes and made my way into the kitchen. I didn't need to answer his question. It was obvious.

Tyler and his idiotic friends were the reason I was home from boarding school. My step-mother wanted all the family support when Tyler went to trial. I had begged my father not to drag me back into this shit-storm but I think he needed me home for different reasons. So I came home. But that didn't help anything. The house was still divided. Aleksander had been the one to turn Tyler and his friends into the police. My step-mother hated him for it, but I didn't give a fuck. Aleksander had done right by the two victims.

Tyler was drunk and high. The only person he actually hit was Aleksander and that was by accident. When he first admitted that he was just a by stander I didn't believe him, but then Aleksander reluctantly explained that he never saw Tyler throw a punch - except the one directed to him when he intervened. I didn't care. He was still a coward. He should have done something. So, I really couldn't find it in myself to care that he was awaiting trial as an accomplice to murder. He made bail but the shiny metal wrapped around his ankle made sure home was the only place he would be.

"Did you enjoy your first day of school?" Tyler hesitated near the archway to the kitchen as I grabbed out the milk container. I didn't turn around. I just poured myself a glass of milk and grabbed some brownies Alice had made.

I heard Tyler shuffle awkwardly for a moment before the sound of thumping alerted me that he had gone back upstairs. I sighed quietly and rested my head in my hands. I didn't have much time to ease out the stress in my mind before the front door opened again. This time it was a brother I could actually be proud of.

"I went looking for you after school," Aleksander shrugged off his backpack and placed it near mine. "Did you catch the bus?"

I swallowed loudly. I could see the hurt in his eyes. "I just..."

How did I explain that I didn't want everyone knowing who I was related to? How did I tell my brother that I inadvertently didn't want to be linked to him either? Because if I was linked to him than I was linked to the criminal upstairs.

"You don't want people knowing we're related." Aleksander finished with the ease that only a twin could pull off. I bit down on my lip and exhaled.

"I'm already the new kid at school. That's a sucky label. I don't want to be the murderer's sister." I leant against the counter. 

"Accomplice to murder." Aleksander reacted almost automatically. He had done his fair share of defending our brother. 

"Failure to act might as well be seen as murder, Alek." I said, taking a sip of my milk. I didn't want to talk about this. It seemed to be all my family talked about these days. 

"You can't hide it forever, Floss." Aleksander frowned. "At one point some teacher is going to say your name. Or you're going to be seen with dad doing the shopping. Or someone will find your Facebook--" 

"I get it." I interrupted Aleksander's ramble. "I truly do get it. At some point I will be linked to this family. But not right now." I stared at him. "Can I just have a few more days of ignorance?"

"Fine." Aleksander shrugged. "I can't blame you. Sometimes I wish I wasn't the brother who turned on his own family."

"You're the brother who saved a life." I whispered, stepping towards him. I gave him a hug and felt his muscles unclench. "You're not the brother who took one."