hopeless. (holloway)✔️

19 - "spiderwebs"

Reality

"What's your favourite song?" Blair asked Nolan as the two sat under a tree behind the school.

"Umm," Nolan thought as he played with the others boys fingers. "Of all time or at the moment?"

"Both."

"Well my favourite song at the moment is probably Pancakes by LANY. But of all time... Heroes by David Bowie. Or Gypsy by Fleetwood Mac."

"Those are good choices," Blair complimented.

"Thanks," Nolan said. "What are yours? Current and of all time."

"Right now I love anything by Billie Eilish. But my favourite song of all time is probably Spiderwebs by No Doubt."

"Sorry I'm not home right now I'm walking into spiderwebs so leave a message and I'll call you back," Nolan sang, making Blair's eyes go wide.

"You can sing?!" he exclaimed.

Nolan shrugged modestly and continued playing with Blair's fingers. "I'm not that good. I've always done it, though."

"Sing something for me!" the shorter boy said as he laid his head on his boyfriends shoulder.

Although Nolan was a mere 5'10", Blair was an underwhelming 5'3", even shorter than Liam.

"Maybe some time," Nolan said before intertwining their fingers. "I think I'm gonna tell my mom you're my boyfriend."

Blair squeezed his hand and smiled. "Good. I'll tell my dad too. I already told all my friends and they freaked the fuck out over how excited they were. Did you tell Sydney?"

"Not yet. I'm going to today. What about your mom?" Nolan asked.

"She's... she died when I was thirteen."

"Oh my God... I-I'm so sorry I didn't know!" Nolan exclaimed.

"Exactly," Blair said as he moved his head from Nolans shoulder so he could look him in the eyes instead. "You didn't know. So don't worry about it. It was a long time ago. I wasn't all that close with her, anyway. I only saw her on holidays because her and my dad divorced when I was three."

"How did it happen?"

"Cancer. Breast cancer. It's a pretty shitty way to go," Blair explained.

Nolan nodded and gripped his hand even harder. "Can I hug you?"

"You don't have to ask, Nolan." Blair leaned over and wrapped his arms around his boyfriends waist, feeling his abs through his shirt. "Someone works out."

Nolan laughed nervously and kissed him on the top of the head. "You're adorable."

"I know," Blair said as he pulled away. "What do you say we go sit with Liam, Mason, and Corey for lunch?"

Nolan nodded his head and they both went back inside the school. They sat down with the other boys in the cafeteria.

"Hey, lovebirds," Mason teased as they sat down.

Nolan blushed slightly and laughed.

"How are you, Nolan? I haven't talked about something other than lacrosse in a long time," Liam said and Blair gave him a smile, knowing he was trying his best with Nolan.

"I'm okay. Math is super hard this year, don't you think?"

"Totally. The teacher that doesn't know how to teach certainly doesn't help," Liam agreed.

"I hate math," Blair said.

"I can help you guys!" Corey offered.

"That would be great Corey," Nolan said with a smile and Blair couldn't help but notice how fast his foot was tapping against the floor.

"Are you okay?" he asked Nolan.

The freckled boy looked confused at Blair's question. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Blair nodded but could tell there was something weird going on.

He has anxiety, he thought to himself.

He reminded himself to look for more signs later on. If Nolan has anxiety, he wants to do all he can to help him.