You Are Cordially Invited (Sirius Black)

"I Take It You've Received Your Invitation?"

SIRIUS was dumbfounded. He liked to be his own master, he took pleasure in defying old-world conventions and having a very modern and forward-thinking attitude, and yet here he was: being married off in possibly the worst form of archaic subjugation he could think of.

He looked over at James helplessly. His first thought was to go and punch someone directly in the face, but he could hardly turn up at his parents' doorstep and hit them. He didn't want to get into a long and delayed process of arguing against the DeRavin family via letters, but neither did he want to meet them.

"I'm going on holiday," he announced suddenly. "I'll spend the next two months in America and when I don't turn up for the wedding they'll get the hint."

James pulled a face. "Sirius, you are NOT hiding. It's bloody ridiculous. Perhaps your family will cancel it because you're not on good terms."

His face lit up. "Yeah! Maybe I should send them a pile of dragon dung just to make sure they're actively pissed off," he mused, but a raised eyebrow from James stymied that thought.

There was a knock at the door. James and Sirius looked at eachother with the same line of thought: it's the family. Sirius dove under the kitchen table.

"James, answer it! I can't see these people!" Sirius hissed.

"It's your flat- you answer it!" James hissed back.

"No, I can't, what if-" knock, knock, "Shit! I'm not going!"

"Sirius?" Called a familiar voice from the door. "Sirius, are you in?"

James rolled his eyes and went into the corridor to open the door. One of their best friends, Remus Lupin, stepped inside curiously. He followed James back to the kitchen.

"Where's Sirius?" He asked earnestly, but stopped abruptly when he entered the kitchen to see the former crawling out from under the table. He sighed lightly.

"I take it you've received your invitation?"

*

"How do you know about that?" Sirius asked disbelievingly.

"I was in town just a few minutes ago and I bumped into your cousin Andromeda, she'd just been to St. Mungo's. Did you know her little one was Metamorphagi? Quite extraordinary! Anyway, she'd received her invitation only an hour earlier and she suspected that it was perhaps a standard invite based off a list of names. Obviously the DeRavins have no idea you've left home and that Andromeda is married and disinherited."

Remus ran a hand through his sandy-coloured hair. He spied the pack of beer cans on the counter top and helped himself. Remus was a werewolf, bitten and infected as a child, and this discovery at school by James and Sirius helped to solidify a friendship which would be considered abhorrent by others.

"Remus, what do I do? I can't write to every family member and old family in the country to explain it's not happening. Apparently-" Sirius explained with a dirty look at James, "-I can't leave the country until it blows over. What am I supposed to do about this mess?"

Remus took a long, grateful swig of his beer.

"You realise that I don't know about this stuff, don't you?" Remus said.

"So what was the point in coming over, then?" Sirius shot back.

"Woah, mate, don't take it out on Remus," James defended.

Sirius’s countenance softened. "I'm sorry, I'm just so pissed off about this abso-bloody-lutely stupid bastard thing."

James and Remus looked at him and started to laugh. Sirius’s profanities just about summed up the whole situation. James picked up his can and took another drink. The beer had regained its delicious taste.

"I think nothing can be done just yet," Remus continued, "so I say we have a good old-fashioned drinking session to celebrate... almost like an honourary stag do!"

*

The next morning was rough. Sirius had been so drunk that he pissed himself. Remus had been sick down a girl's cleavage as he attempted to chat her up and her boyfriend swung around and punched James in the face thinking it was him. They barely made it back to the flat as Sirius tried to Apparate and nearly splinched himself, but after ten minutes of frantic searching he was found inside the shop window of a Muggle wedding boutique; he had eaten the wedding cakes on display.

Several bacon sandwiches, cups of tea and tactical chunders later and the men had escaped the confines of their beds.

"I'm never drinking again," Remus groaned, his head flat on the tabletop.

"How am I going to explain my heavily swollen nose and lip to Lily?"James moaned. "Cheers for that, by the way."

"Oh for Merlin's sake, I've already started getting letters about this wedding!" Sirius announced, flopping down into a chair. "RSVPs… three letters asking me 'what the hell?'… what's this?"

With interest Sirius opened a letter written in a beautifully neat hand on lilac paper. He read it aloud.

"'Dear Mr. Black,

'You may not remember me but my name is Miss Aurora Devereux DeRavin. We used to play together as children at my family's estate. Since then we have moved to France, mostly for my education but also for my parents' health. I have lately completed my formal education and have undergone further finishing education to prepare me for the role I am to fulfil in England.

'I believe it is customary in the case of long-standing betrothals for the parents of both parties to make the necessary arrangements, and for us to meet formally (chaperoned, naturally) to become acquainted.

'I appreciate that perhaps this is not a modern concept, however I feel the tradition of uniting two families is still an honorable and noble role. I will be in London from Monday, 1st June to Sunday, 7th June. Please reply to arrange a meeting within those dates. I shall be staying at The Grand Warlock Hotel.

'I look forward to meeting you again,
Yours sincerely,
Aurora Devereux DeRavin.'"

Sirius stared at the letter.

"I can't believe… this stupid girl… she actually wants to live like this! She wants to be a bargaining tool for those maniacs!" He shook his head, more in dismay than anger, then winced as his head remembered it was hungover.

"You've got the chance to meet her and let her down gently," James said quietly. "At least you won't embarrass the poor girl in front of everyone."

Sirius buried his head in his arms and groaned. "Leave me alone! It's too early for this!"

**