One Good Turn...

Chapter 7: Nostalgic

" Can you tell me what happened this past few months? "

" Uhmmm...  I guess... Everything went smooth and fine. May mga konting panic and anxiety attacks pero very mild lang... I think. "

" How often? "

" Not so often Bryan.  Minsan susulpot siya then after a week wala na ulit"

" kelan yung pinaka-matindi?  "

" Last night"

" Do you get unconscious after the attack? Nag collapse kaba after?"

" No.  But i think almost"

" Tell me what do you feel when the panic occurs "

" I almost had a heart attack...
Natakot ako and i felt like i was drowning. Yung heartbeat ko i know it wasn't normal at all.

Pinilit kong gawin yung breathing exercise na tinuro mo sakin pero walang nangyari... Habang nandun ako sa lugar lalong sumisikip yung dibdib ko and i don't even have a clue 'bout what's happening on me".

" This past few weeks... Nangyari din  ba to? "

" No Bryan,  ngayon lang... Ngayon lang ulit"

" Is there anything that you think nagpa-trigger dito? "

" Yes"

" Then what is it? "

" It appears when i was riding a motorbike. "

" Is it about on the rush you felt? "

" I'm not sure about that... But i think....  Yes. "

" Sam,  i want you to describe what'd you feel during that incident "

" before it happened everything was fine...
Everything went normal... To be honest... I was really happy that day.
It was my first time to hang out with some other people again Bryan after so many years.
And it feels great...

It really feels good for me ."

" Do you still experience anxiety attack before it happens? "

" Yeah... I think so... nangyari yun after naming magusap ni Mike about sa space,  time management and everything na pwedeng makatulong sakin and sa relationship namin. "

" What do you do that time? "

" Actually... Hindi naman siya malala compare sa mga dating anxiety attacks ko.  This time parang normal anxieties lang yung naeencounter ko... Takot na baka hindi na kami magkabalikan... Takot na baka masanay si Mike na wala ko sa tabi niya...

But im trying to control my emotions and to sublimate things so that i don't have to worry bout anything... Luckily Bryan... It works! "

* nods.....

" So this panic attack it only happens last saturday night,  am i right? "

" Yes.  Only that night... And i don't know why? "

" Nabanggit mo na sa tingin mo hindi lang to basta isang panic attack... You said before ito mangyari , you saw something on the back of your mind... Something you think ... An old memory?  "

" Yes,  habang nakasakay ako sa motor... Nung una halos wala naman akong masyadong nararamdaman...

May konting kaba,  pero naisip ko baka ganun lang talaga kapag nakaangkas ka sa motor and hindi mo pa masyadong kilala yung nag didrive :)"