I Hate You, I Love You

Repeat

-Your POV-

I ended up crying myself to sleep. My body just shut down on me. I woke up on the floor, and had a banging headache. I called my mom so that she could bring me some medicine. I got up from the floor and laid down on my bed. My forehead felt hot. I took my temperature. "104•F! How?" I said in shock. How was it that high? Damn. My mom came and brought me my medicine. I turned on the tv to watch some K-Dramas, but I feel asleep before the show even started. Oops.

I woke up to a shift on my bed. I opened my eyes to see, PARK FLIPPING JIMIN! "The fuck are you doing here?" I said sitting up. My head butted more for yelling, but I had to. "I heard that you were sick so I came to see you." He said scooting closer to me on the bed. "I thought that you hated me." I said rolling my eyes and crossing my arms. "Look Y/n I do—" he cut himself off. "You should rest, I'll leave" He said. For a change he looked, sad. I felt bad. I couldn't handle it, my heart ached. My head hurt, it felt so wrong. I kept telling myself 'I Hate You Park Jimin!' but my mind refused to believe it.

I wanted to be alone. I felt alone, I had no one. No one that truly understands how I feel. Hurt, pain, regret, and alone. All at the same time, because of one person. I was slipping into depression. A deep one. Alone. Hate. Pain. My life was crashing before my eyes. My heart was done for. "I fucking hate you Park Jimin! Why would you do this to me?!" I managed to say over my tears. "why?" I said quieter. He was ruining my life. My heart. Pain began taking over, and I fell asleep again. I guess when I felt too much pain mentally and physically my body just shuts down. I had so much pain built up inside of me, that I couldn't tell anyone. Not even BamBam.

The pain grew longer,stronger, and more hurtful. Handling it was an understatement. Hurting was also an understatement. There were no words to describe how confused and in pain that I was in/feeling. New word:kurjsthra???. It means exactly how I'm feeling at the moment. Yeah, I know tha it was unpronounceable but it's exactly how I'm feeling. I'm sorry heart, I'm sorry for all the kurjsthra??? that I've caused you to go through. The kurjsthra??? repeats over and over but more harsh every time around.

A/N: Sorry for that late update today I was hanging out with my friends. Jhope that you don't hate me too much, byeee ily.

~Tanya