Do you remember who you were
................
Lana
"Point that toe on the lift Nori!" I yelled, as I watched the girls execute their latest routine.
As "You Deserve It" by Janine dripped through the speakers of the heavily mirrored space, I watched as the six elite dancers I had grown to love over the past three years, poured their hearts and souls out on the polished wooden floor.
I'm glad you found your angel
I'm sorry it couldn't be me
But I never meant to hurt you
I hope one day you will see
That I had to find myself before anyone else
But I'm glad you found your angel
Glad you found your angel
Saw a picture of you and her and you were smilin'
And it made me smile, though inside I was not
But I'm glad you found your angel
"Alright ladies, that's it for today, you have the weekend off but practice because we have the competition in New York next week. You'll be competing with the best of the best and I want you all to be well rested, but I want you to be on game, okay ?" I spoke as I made eye contact with each girl individually while speaking.
"Yes Ms. Harris", they spoke out in unison before leaving the studio room.
Ugh.
Sliding down a panel of the glass mirror that covered all four walls of the studio room, I slowly sat on the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. Three years. It had been three years, almost four, since I held him and I still felt my heart strings being strummed to the constant beat of nothingness.
When Ricky died, I got out of the game and used my savings to start "Harris School of Dance" in Atlanta. My first year was dry, I almost went bankrupt actually. I only had six girls and even when I ran out of money, they stuck with me. They begged their parents to "trust the process" and that they did. We made it through to World of Dance with only black leotards as our costumes, but that's all we needed. By the time we got home from the program, we had about two hundred parents/guardians wanting me to teach their children. Expanding was the best thing I had ever done, but I could never forget all that my original girls did for me, which is why I created the "Elite 6". We traveled state to state competing against the best of the best and we always came out on top.
It just so happens that this upcoming competition would be in New York, and although it's only for three days, it's three days in the city where I've done some of the most unimaginable things I can think of. It's the city where I thought I lost my first love and where I blindly fell for my second. Ricky.....
Picking myself up from the floor, I looked around the studio one last time before flicking off the lights and walking out of the door.
"You done for the day Evylana?" My bestfriend, and assistant director of the school Carabella asked as I walked past her office.
"What I tell you about calling me that Bella?" I asked as I rolled my eyes in frustration.
"Girl, I've been calling you that for the past three years, your blockhead ass better pick a different struggle"
"Did you jus- aha, see now when you need a job, remember that my blockhea-
"Blockhead? Is that what you heard? Who said that?" She asked as she looked over her shoulder and around the rest of the room.
"Bye Bella," I laughed as I walked through the door.
.............................
"Oh look who's home mi amor" my ma spoke as I walked through the front door of my house.
After everything that happened with losing Ricky, I didn't feel as though I could handle anymore loss. I reached out to my foster mother and my foster brother Chino and we slowly began to mend our relationship, it worked out even though I was in Atlanta and they were in Miami.
Then I found out I was pregnant, six months pregnant to be exact and I was experiencing so many complications. My ma dropped everything and moved to Atlanta to be close to me. I was drinking all though my pregnancy, because I had no clue I was expecting, and this became the cause of my complications. However, with the help of my doctors, I was able to continue through my pregnancy and by the time I reached my eighth month I was big as a house.
"Hey ma," I said as I lowered my gym bag to the floor and hung my keys on the hook, before walking over to peck her on the cheek. "And hey mama's baby" I cooed as I picked up my daughter "Miracle" and showered kisses all over her precious face.
"She has all your features Evylana....."
"Ma, please don't start this back up," I said as I put Miracle back down, allowing her to play with her toys as I made my way into the kitchen to start on dinner.
"But she has her fathers complexion mi hija, he has the right to know," she spoke gingerly as she rolled up her sleeves to help me.
"I don't see what the big deal is ma, she's got me, you and Chino. Not to mention she also has Bella as her godmother, what more does she need?" Walking around her, I turned the sink on and began rinsing the zucchini and peppers.
"You grew up without a father, tell me what more did you need?" She grumbled as she started harshly chopping the peppers I had handed her.
"Ma..." I began as I pinched the bridge of my nose.
Ignoring me, she began to speak in Spanish to herself as she continued to chop the vegetables.
"What if he doesn't want her" I whispered, more so to myself.
Placing the knife down, she wiped her hands on her apron before pulling me into a warm embrace. "Oh mi amor, I know he has always been a ruthless man, but he's always had a soft spot for you. Give him a chance to make the decision for himself".
"It's been three years ma, he's gone legit now. He has a share of a NBA team, and he owns several 5-star restaurants. He's been on the cover of Forbes magazine at least twice this year already and it's only February. Not only that, but he's engaged to some hotshot model now."
"What does money have to do with it? You may not have millions, but you have a very big house and lots of money as well," she asked as she pulled out of our embrace and feathered a strand of my hair behind my ear.
Sighing, I massaged my forehead with two fingers. "I just don't want it to come off as me trying to get him for money. I don't want the bad media and the slander, that I know is coming, to affect my child, or my business. I'm a completely different woman now, but I still don't play about my coin ma."
"Don't you have to be in New York this week anyways?" She asked, a small smile playing on her lips.
"Strictly business, besides, it's too soon," I spoke as I peeked over the island counter to see Miracle in the living room.
"It's been three years Evylana"
"Ma I'm not rea-
"You tell him or I will come to New York and personally knock on the door to his million dollar home. Entender?" She asked with a raised brow.
"Sí, I understand ma," I huffed. "I've got to tell Jaceion that he has a 3 year old daughter".
