One Look is all it Takes

Its Ours

     As I heard those words come out of his mouth I ran into our bedroom and locked the door behind me. I grabbed the little black box out from under my bed. It contained a container of razor blades a bottle of Xanax and a picture of Autumn Jonathan and I. I pulled out a razor blade and ran my finger lightly across it to check the sharpness. I remember the first time he had seen my scars and i had to tell him all about why I did it and everything that was going on with my family he listened so intently to every detail. His reaction to when I did it when we were together was what made me know he was the one for me.

     " Hey baby are you ok?" He asked me in his calm kinda sleepy voice he uses 

     I sniffled through the phone as a tear went down my cheek.

     "Baby whats wrong is everything ok?" he had asked me over the phone.

     " I did somethings again and I hate myself for doing it." I said quietly 

    "Baby did you....." he said as I cut him off answering his question.

    " Yes and it is pretty bad but I'm ok." I said so he wouldn't get upset.

     " Baby you aren't ok this isn't ok." he said 

     I was preparing myself for the same thing everyone else says " You are doing this for attention."

     "Im coming over unlock your window." he said then hung up the phone I locked my door and unlocked the window about five minutes later I heard him knock on the window then open it. he walked over to me and wrapped his arms around me as I cried into his shoulder. He grabbed my arms and looked at them then looked at me in the eyes. He started crying. i was confused as to why this made him so upset. i thought to myself its skin it heals but he didn't see it that way. 

     "I love you more than anything in this world you are the most gorgeous smartest most amazing girl I know." He told me. 

      He kissed me on the forehead and then grabbed my arm and kissed up and down the red welted marks. He rubbed his thumb lightly on them causing them to burn  little and  pulled away. I tried to hide the tears falling down my cheeks. He placed my cheek in his hand and planted a kiss on my lips.

     " When you hurt yourself like this it breaks your smile a little bit every time. As long as I am holding your heart it will not break if I can help it." He said planting another kiss on my forehead.

     " No more marks baby please whenever you feel like you want to do this call me and ill be right over and we can cuddle and watch all the movies you want until you feel better I promise baby. " He said wrapping me up in his arms laying me on the bed.

     He pulled the blanket out from under me and covered me up the went to the other side of the bed he pulled me close to him and began kissing me . We fell asleep in each others arms.

"Baby please don't  do this not again please we were so close to losing you last time I just can't lose you." He said through the locked door as he began banging on it.

I opened the door and tried not to look at him in the eyes. He grabbed my wrist and began checking them for new marks. Like a plane canvas there was nothing.

  " I didn't do anything I promise." I said still trying not look at him in the eyes.

" Do you know what she is doing about the baby?" I asked him

" She said she is getting an abortion you don't have to worry." he said with sad eyes.

" But I want to keep it." I told him

"  This baby is yours therefore it is ours."  I told him with a hug and a kiss