A New Light

Chapter 2

Waking up in a cold sweat after dreaming of those grey eyes, I look at the clock and find that it is only 5:30. I still can't stop my mind from wondering back to him. I need a distraction. So I get up, shower, throw on a comfy pair of running pants (not that I run) and my favorite WSU sweatshirt and head out to get a coffee and wander the city that has become my new home. I haven't had time to do that much since Kate and I moved here. What with being with Christian and now with work. So I after getting a latte, which has grown on me over the last week, I walk and find Elliot Bay Park overlooking Puget Sound. Wandering the path in the park I find a bench, I sit and just look out over the water and find that this helps. Looking out seeing the beauty surrounding me. I sit for awhile just staring and realize that I haven't once thought of anything other than what the water looks like as the sun reflects off of it. This is nice. Being able to just be. Nothing going on in my head. No work. No Christian. No how am I going to get past this. This is nice.

Realizing I've just sat for two hours I decide to head back. Kate should be getting up and I know she'll be worried after last night and my breaking down. Stopping at a little bakery on the way back I grab a couple of bagels – it's the first time that my stomach doesn't flip flop thinking about eating – and head to the apartment.

Kate's just getting up when I get there. She eyes me suspiciously asking what's in the bag. "Breakfast" is all I say handing her the bag. As she puts cream cheese on her bagel she looks at me and says that she thinks some shopping and pampering are on her agenda for the day and insists that I come with her. Shopping is not my thing. I don't like spending hours trying things on but I do need to get some new things for work so I agree.

After spending the better part of the day shopping I have found a few skirts, blouses and two dresses that actually make me look like the old me. The me before Christian. The me that's not too skinny. Kate notices the weight loss but hasn't mentioned anything more about what happened with us. Thankfully. She tells me that Elliot's parents are throwing a fundraiser in two weeks and that he invited her to go. She's really excited and wants me to help her find the perfect dress so that she can "look amazing". I have to remind her that she always looks amazing but she tells me that she wants to be able to give a good impression and represent Elliot well. I've never heard her like this. Usually she is so confident with everything and never really concerned with what others think but she's worried about what Elliot will think. Aww I think my Kate is growing up a little. Taking others feelings into consideration for once, it's a good thought and I hope she continues it. But she is having a hard time finding anything and says that she still has some time to shop giving me a funny look.

Pleading tiredness after my early morning and half the day shopping I head home leaving Kate to finish her shopping or to her "pampering" at the spa. Getting home and putting my purchases away, I realize that Kate's distraction worked. I haven't thought about last week at all. Well not until she brought up going to Elliot's parents' fundraiser. Now home alone set to my own devises my mind starts reeling again with the past events. Everything from falling into Christian's office, to meeting his family, to Georgia – him meeting my mom, the amazing sex, the soaring – then to the Red Room. Always I end up back at the Red Room of Pain and again I end up curled up in a ball in the middle of my bed crying.

I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I hear are voices in the living room and its pitch black outside my window. I open my bedroom door and hear Kate and Elliot speaking to each other. Oh my God! They are discussing me and Christian! Kate doesn't sound too happy.

"Elliot, you haven't seen her! I want to know what happened while we were away. What your asshole brother did to her. She's not the same girl as when we left! She's always been quiet and reserved but this is different. She won't look at me or anyone for that matter in the eye; she won't speak unless she's directly asked something. She's lost so much weight. She cried last night like there would be no tomorrow and when I got home today, she was crying again. I've never and I mean never Elliot seen her cry in the four years that I've known her. Something's off and she won't open up to me. Have you spoken to him? Has he said anything?"