Spring Awakenings

Maze of Life

Saturday, 4/25/12, Shirogane Estate, Evening

*click*

*click

*click*

Naoto let the bright bulb blind her for a few seconds, hoping that this new sensation might jar her out of the malaise that had overtaken her for the past twenty four hours. No such luck.

She had been laying in her desk chair, tugging on the swinging chain of her desk lamp, clicking it on and off for what felt like hours, trying her hardest to control the tempest of thoughts buzzing in her head. It was only when Yakushiji ducked his head into her room and said something that her mind broke away for a mere moment. Even then, she gave an autopilot response, just something to get him out of the room so she could continue to obsess over this new problem in her life.

Only a day had passed since Rise confessed her secret to her in Okina, but it had only taken that one day to completely consume Naoto from the inside out.

Her stomach hurt just to think of it: ""H-he confessed to me! T-that he liked me! Like like-liked me!." A knife twisting in her guts may have been more pleasant to think about. It had been so all-consuming that she couldn't even muster up the will to do anything else. All she had done was throw on a nice white shirt and some slacks, as if that would somehow imply she had been productive for the day.

Why did this feel so...wrong? It's not like it was an earth shattering revelation; close friends entered relationships all the time, especially those who endure traumatic or bonding experiences together over a long period of time. It made perfect sense: Rise, the starlet, the pretty idol, with the mysterious handsome outsider who could do no wrong. Perfect, except that it made her physically ill.

She stood up from her chair, rubbing her face and trying to make sense of it all. Narukami was a great friend, Rise was a great friend, and she should be happy that they had found happiness in each other. She repeated it over and over in her head as if that would convince her to accept the fact. It wasn't working.

Her overactive imagination conjured up an image of Narukami, like a magic mirror. Steel hair that matched steel eyes boring a hole into her very soul. They weren't angry eyes, or inquisitive, but blank, waiting to hear whatever it was she had to say. Kind eyes, eyes that didn't judge her for who she was and accepted her for her, be it man or woman, child or adult.

With memories of him came even more of the times they had spent together solving a case she had been lured into late last year. She thought of their final breakthrough in the case, how quickly he was willing to leap in front of the faux knife that an apparent madman (actually a disguised Yakushiji) had pulled. His eagerness to protect her...that had to mean something, didn't it?

Annoyed, she glanced to the side of her room and saw the wardrobe door ajar; she had probably been too distracted to close it when she had gotten dressed. The oddly out-of-place wardrobe had been her Grandfather's choice; he had always had a taste for older, Victorian-era décor, and this was one of his more eccentric choices. Naoto hadn't minded, since it was very spacious and wide and accommodated her unique choice of clothing very adequately. One of the nicer things about the old wardrobe was the mirror attached to the back of the left door, which immediately let her see how she was going to look before she got too comfortable.

As she looked at the open door, the mirror reflected her in the low light of the room. Slowly approaching it, she took a good hard look at what she saw.

Normally, Naoto was usually only upset that her body was small and ill-suited to more rugged work, but now she couldn't help but view it with a different, more harsh lens. Her legs were short and unappealing, always fully concealed compared to the thousands of bare legs one could see at her high school. Even if she were to show them off, she doubted that her skinny stems would be enough to really attract anyone. Her hips were bony, not exactly something anyone would notice if they were to look at her. As always, her true chest was concealed, leaving a sort of formless shape to her torso that was tightly compressed beneath layers of clothing. Even without the binder, Naoto's breasts were inconspicuous, certainly way less developed than her fellow senpai and Rise.