Friends ➸ Vhope

~9~

"You should love me"
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|Hoseok|

I'm starting to regret coming back. I still feel like our feelings aren't mutual. After that day Taehyung hasn't really paid much attention to me. If he does, it's just him telling me about how much he misses Jo. I know this may sound selfish of me but what makes him think that I want to hear that? I want to hear him say how happy he is to have me.

But that doesn't happen.

He doesn't even tell me that he loves me anymore. Not even in a brotherly way. If he didn't like me, why would he...

I know. He used me as a way to get over her. He was using me all along. First he uses Jo and now me. When will he stop? When will he understand that I don't want fake love? I want someone who actually wants me and cares for me. Someone who'll say that I'm his everything and hold me tight and tell me sweet nothings. I just want to be loved.

"Hey, Hoseok" Taehyung said as he walked into our shared room. I looked up from my laptop screen. "You need something?" I asked. He shook his head. "No. I just wanted to say that I'm not sure about...this. I know that you care about me and I really do care about you but-"

"I get it. I don't want to force you into a relationship that you're not happy in so yes, we're over and I'm okay with it." Taehyung looked at me, a shocked expression on his face. "I am happy" he quickly said. He walked over to me and put a hand on my shoulder. "You do make me happy, Hoseokie." He's lying.

"I haven't seen you smile since the day we've gotten together. Call Jo and make her take you back. I want to see you happy again. I know how much you love her and how much joy she brings you." It hurt to just hear myself say that.

Taehyung didn't say anything which meant that it was true. He'll never love me the same. He still doesn't get how much I'm hurting. He will never understand how close I am to giving up. "Hobi... I-I'm sorry" he said. He tried to grab my hand but I moved it away from him. "Please stop. Stop doing this to me!" I snapped. He was shook.

"What are you talking about?"

"You keep leading me on, making me think that you feel the same but you don't. The way that you kiss me and hug me... you shouldn't. We're not dating or anything so we shouldn't do any of those things. We're just friends, right? That means that we should just hang out. None of the late night talks and cuddles, none of the I love you's, no more sleeping I the same bed. It's not right. At least not for me. It only makes it harder for me..."

At this point I was in tears. "JUST TELL ME THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO BE WITH ME! TELL ME THAT YOU WANT TO STAY FRIENDS FOREVER! JUST TELL ME WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE YOU HAPPY AND I'LL DO IT! I'LL MOVE OUT AND YOU CAN BE-"

Taehyung cut me off by pulling me up and slamming me onto the wall. It wasn't gently either. "Shut up about it already!! All you ever do is tell me how much of a terrible person I am! Do you think I'm trying to hurt you?! I'm just doing what I feel is right. I'm sorry but I just don't like you that way anymore. I know I'm hurting you by not being with you but what's the point of fake love? Either way you're not going to be happy so just be quiet. Why don't you try and get over me??"

I can't believe he just said that.

I pushed him off of me and tried running but he grabbed my arm and pinned me back onto the wall. "Running away from your problems won't fix them" he said in a dark tone. "You are the problem, Taehyung. I feel better when I'm away from you but you never let me go. What's the point of keeping me around?!" I yelled at him. Taehyung groaned. "Because you're my best friend! I can't just let my best friend go away! I understand how you feel but I felt the same way about you before and I've never left your side because I loved you that much."