A short life

A short friendship

You make friends and you eventually lose them. I get that, I am 10 years old so I obviously know all about that. I have a fair few friends myself, some I have known since I was 3, others I have just recently met. But I love them all the same, it is normal that I know some better than others.......

'Mia....You coming?' that is one of my friends, Catherine and yes, my name is Mia. Personally I love that name, short and sweet. Just like me. At only 4 foot 5 I am a bit smaller than all my friends....but they think I am a lot smaller......I'm not.

'Yeah, sure....' I replied, we are in the school playground surrounding by many screaming and shouting young children "playing". I don't really like playing. I prefer thinking. Thinking about my life. Thinking about the stars. Thinking about what is out there and what we have left to discover. Like most of my friends. Except for Catherine, Catherine liked to play.

She was always trying to make me play her imaginary games, pretending we were animals, or we were adventurers. She tried to teach me how to play, the science of it. But it still confuses me more than maths. Although maths makes more sense.

'What now?' I sighed as Catherine beamed excitedly. 'I have an idea.....Why don't we play.......hangman!'

I was shocked. 'Really Cath' (for that is what I call her) 'You interrupted my thinking....for an idea?' she didn't understand how important my thinking was.

Catherine picked up on this 'So.... my ideas are not as important as YOUR thinking?......' she was getting rather angry and I had no idea why.....

'But Cath...... No.... I mean yes..... I mean.......' I was trying to get my thinking across to her but she wasn't having any of it. People were starting to stop screaming and stare at us.

'Just as I thought, you don't care about me....Mia....I'm your ONLY friend....you've got to listen to me, spend time with me.....' she was calming down but I wasn't.

'No.....I have OTHER friends. I have many friends. Many people respect me for who I am and don't try to change me......Other people UNDERSTAND me.....' and that is when everything when quiet.

Catherine was looking sad and was backing away from me, slowly shaking her head. Then out of the blue something snapped in her..... Something that wasn't there before. She started to walk back towards me, hatred clear in her blue eyes, but no tears. I felt powerless as time passed so slowly.

As the punch hit my face I gasped for air full of shock and fear. But that was not all.

I was somewhere else, I had moved to a different part of the playground. My body hurt and ached all over and I could tell that I had been crying. I was surrounded by many of my friends who were laughing, pointing and hitting me. I had no idea what was going on. These were my friends. I had many friends.

Eventually after a few minutes of agony more than just fists hit me. It made so much sense. I couldn't stand the pain of being bullied with no true friends, so I made a mind palace to block the fear. To block the shame and humiliation. To escape to a place where I could be happy.

But even that was broken. I lost my friend in my mind palace. I had lost everything I had owned. Happiness, hope.

I had nothing. The "friends" I had made up where actually the people who hated me the most, they despised me. They were my bullies and now I know I don't want to know anymore.

Forget life, forget the stars, don't think about what is out there and what we have left to discover. Leave it to someone else. I don't care anyone because I am broken. Never to be fixed, found or hurt again.

In my own, perfect mind palace forever.