Do you know how good it feels to be awake but kinda sleepy at 2am. There's some kind of satisfying thing about it cause you know you could go to bed whenever you want and don't have to get up till you want. It's better when the man you love is right next to you.
The mocha haired boy next to you seemed to be very interested on a particular part of the ceiling. He'd been staring at it for at least twenty minutes. But there was such a calming atmosphere and you didn't wanna ruin it.
The sky was a light purplish color that looked beautiful around the trees. One of the windows was slightly cracked open so there was a breeze that was extremely cold but kinda felt good on your neck.
Your not exactly sure how or why you woke up. You just remember being awake and turning your body just in time to see jack's eyes flutter open slowly. "I'm sorry I woke you up", you had said. "It's ok, I'm not tired really", he said back just as quiet as you had been. Since then both of you haven't said a word. You fell into a comfortable silence.
"You know I love you right?"
You had thought it was just in your head till he repeated it again. "Of course I know you love me jack", you said so quietly that if the room weren't extremely silent he wouldn't even have heard it. "But do you know why I love you, or how much I love you", he said with a hint of agitation in his voice. "Why are you asking me this", you thought out loud. "Cause I feel like you need to know these things", he went silent for a little then continued, "Or you might leave me for someone who does tell you how much they love you".
You both went silent after that. You were just trying to comprehend what he just said and why'd he ever feel that way. Had you made him feel like you were gonna leave him? "Jack I'd never leave you, why would I ever leave you?". You said a little angrily. You haven't meant to sound angry it just came out that way.
When jack spoke his voice was a little more quiet than before. If that was even possible. "There are guys who can love you better than I can", he choked out. "Guys who can always be there for you when you need them cause they're not half way across the damn world.". "Baby you deserve better". After that last sentence is when you got a little angry inside. "You don't get to tell me what I deserve Avery." Your voice was a little louder than you wanted it to be. "I fucking want to be with you. Only you. I wouldn't be here if I didn't." He wasn't looking at you at this point. He was laying on this back, with his face towards the ceiling. His eyes were full of full of sadness which broke your heart.
No one wants to see the boy they love hurt. "Jack, look", you paused. "I don't know what's gotten in to you but we can get through this". Your voice was softer this time. "You just gotta talk to me". You laid back down in the bed and jack immediately pushed his body as close to yours as it could get. His arms were around your waist super tight and his face was in the crook of your neck. It was silent till jack spoke up again. "Please don't ever leave me", he said making your heart drop to your kidney. "I would never baby", you said in a tone you would use to calm down a crying toddler. "I don't know what I'd do if you did". After that you were both silent.
Listening to each others heart beat against one another's chest. Until you can hear his slight snoring. Your heart still hurt from his words. It'd probably hurt for a while cause that was never something you wanted to hear him say. You deserve better. His words echoed in your head. Did you really. Of course not.
Jack has been the only one for you since you guys met. Everyone knows that so you don't know where he got the idea that he wasn't good enough from. Eventually you pushed your thoughts aside and focused on his steady breathing. That beautiful heart inside him. The one that you were blessed to be associated with. The one you were blessed to love. All right in front of you.
Sometimes it was too much to deal with. But you'd never thought of going through this life with anyone other than Jack. And you definitely didn't want to. Soon enough you fell asleep. Your limbs entangled with his. And your breathing the only sound occupying the room.
Hiiiiiiiiiii guys it's Kyla. So when I got done writing this I realized it kinda sounds like it could be the story to this song called insecure by Shane. I didn't intend it to be that way but oh well. I made this at 12am so sorry for any errors. Hope you all liked it
