You are My Home

Chapter 6

Hermione was holding her son in her arms while sitting on the two seats sofa by the large window in the living room. She occasionally glanced to the window, hoping to see the love of her life returned from the back of the giant trees. 

After few years having relationship with Severus who were always away from her, she thought time would make her used to being away. But it wasn't true. Time was only made her missed him more. Time was only made her longing for her love one even more. Time was only made her in worst fear than ever. 

She was no longer the same Hermione who was courageous enough to wipe out her parents' memory for higher purpose. Or she was still the same Hermione. Only when it came to him that she had changed. She gave it a thought. And she agreed to it.

She remembered the first time Severus finally told her his feelings. It was the first time she neglected her reasoning, and she followed her heart.

Few years earlier...

Hermione was already grouped back with the order together with Harry and Ron. Severus was already in his undercover as death eater again. Although occasionally they would met in the order's meetings. But none of them had said any words. As if the early friendship they've built while they're in hiding in that basement was just never happened. 

She felt very happy every time she saw him came. He was always the same snarky and insensitive person. But somehow, she felt it was endearing to see him that way. She was waiting for his sarcastic comebacks when ever someone like Mr. Weasley, one of his children or even Sirius and Remus said something that Severus might think 'stupid'. She adored it.

Even sometimes it happened to herself. Somehow she let herself giving stupid ideas just to tease her old professor. Instead of feeling demeaning, her heart was soaring whenever he huffed and puffed at her words and said something sarcastic.

But after months in the silent banter, she was not content anymore. She wanted more. She tried several times to talk to him, even asking him to talk to her privately, he always declined. He never lingered after the meetings. 

She made up her mind already. This time he wouldn't be able to decline her. After the meeting, when everyone was standing up from their chairs, she stood up fast and said, "Severus, there's something I need to talk to you."

Everyone's eyes were watching them as this was maybe their first acknowledgement that she called him his first name.

"Ms. Granger, I don't have..."

"Oh, I believe you have, Severus," she said firmly, while playing the syllables of his name to end his sentence.

"Ms. Granger,..." 

"Unless you want all of them to hear what I'm going to say, you better come with me, so we can talk in private." She wouldn't let him get away this time. For the first time ever, she let her heart ruled her actions.

There were seconds that everyone lingered and only stared between the two until finally Remus said, "We better leave the room for them to discuss then."

Followed by everyone living the room, Hermione and scowled Severus.

"How dare you,..."

Again she didn't let him finish, she walked to him fast and leaned herself to him, enveloping her hands to his sides and holding close to his back, giving him her first ever warm hug. She didn't linger long, as she knew she needed to do it fast before he could react. She lifter her head and looked into his surprised eyes and pressed her lips to his, kissing him with every passion, every longing that she had suppressed for almost a year. 

She became bolder when she felt his lips kissing her back that she opened her lips for welcoming his tongue to deepen the kiss. Soon after it got wild and he pushed her to the wall and started to kiss her neck. 

"Oh Severus, " she moaned.

The call of his name, made him full aware of what they were doing and he abruptly stopped and moved away from aroused Hermione.

He didn't say a word. He looked at her with longing in his eyes and walked to the door. He was opening it when she moved in a flash to stand by the door, blocking his way out.

"Severus, please." She begged him. Tears were falling now as her heart knew that the wizard in front of her had the same feeling as hers but were denying it.

He cupped her cheek and let their foreheads touched, he even wanted to kiss her again but strained himself not to. 

She knew at that moment that she needed to say it.

"I love you," she whispered. "I know you might think this is stupid. Believe me, I have battled this in my own mind for months. What good can get out of it, you might think. We're at war. Everyday you risk your life to be in the death eaters inner circle. You need to be prepared anytime if they know your real identity, you might get killed. Or I may get killed. Although most of the time I'm in safe house, but who knows death eaters can always come and slaughter us. Even if we can survive this, we are two very much different persons. You might even think that you don't deserve this. But let me tell you Severus, I don't care that we're at war. I don't care that maybe tomorrow you'll die or tonight I'll die. I don't care." She looked at his eyes, and she found a hint of his passion toward her, so she continued one.

"What I know is that if we have one more day, then I want to be with you that one day. If we have one more hour, then I want to be with you that one hour. I cannot care anymore, Severus." She touched her chest and felt his beating heart.

"It's killing me inside. What I feel for you is killing me. Watching you from afar everytime we meet in this meeting is killing me. I want to be with you." She felt in her hand that his heart was beating faster.

"But we can't," he said hoarsely. "It could put me in more dangerous position."

"I'll be discrete," she said again, trying to win him, "Anything you want, but please don't deny me anymore. You're killing me." She cried and leaned her head to his chest.

He held her hard. His right hand holding her back while his left hand stroking her head. 

"I love you too," he said. "But,"

"No but," she said again, "Please for now. No but. Just promise me something."

She pulled away so that she could see him, his two hands were palming her face, "what?"

"Promise me, that we'll find a way to be together. Like instead sending Remus or Theo, I'll ask Dumbledore to send me, so we can meet more often. Or, in this meeting, instead of sitting far away from me, just sit next to me." 

It was a thin hope, they both knew it but Severus found it that if she was willing with it, why wouldn't he. He was not chivalrous like a gryffindor would, he was selfish man although he tried not to. But she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He just needed to make sure of that first.

"Are you sure with this Hermione?" he asked her one more time, "Are you in this for long haul or only to make a notch in your belt?"

She chuckled to his insecurity. He always appeared very confident but it seemed that her snarky professor was just an ordinary man after all. 

"I never been with anyone, Severus. My kiss with you just now was my third kiss ever. First was with Victor, second with Ron. And none of them led to a relationship. I hope this would be my only relationship. As I prefer not to have many notches in my belt." She smiled to him.

He smiled to her and then he laughed hard. 

They were so occupied with their soaring hearts that even for a second they didn't realize what was going on behind the door.

Piles of humans were swarming the small door. Each was pressing their ears to it. Grin and smirk were all over their faces. Red hairs, black hairs, even purple hairs, tall, short, old, young, it was actually an amusing scene to behold that they all have same interest, to know what was going on between their lovely Hermione with their greasy old bat.