Her hands gripped the bedsheets, brow scrunched, and sweat dripping down her brow. The hammering in her chest was enough to make her sick to her stomach. So when she awoke, it was no surprise that Calvin was bent over clutching her abdomen with all her might.
Every limb on her body shook, voice somewhere so far away she couldn't form a syllable.
The dark room around her enlightened between flashes of lightening. It seemed like something out of a movie, the pain from her leg soon bringing her back to reality.
"GO!" his voice screamed out to her as an echo.
Trying to push it away, the soldier shook her head and bent in half. "No." She whispered.
"GET OUT OF HERE!"
"Stop..." She panted past her numbing tongue.
This wasn't real, none of it was real. It was a dream, it was fake. But the pain that she felt was enough to make it seem like she was there, like he was there.
She needed to see where she was, to ground herself in the world she was in right now. Sanchez had taught her about it- how to deal with the night terrors. So quickly Cal rose to her feet feeling her legs tremble beneath her. the ground was steady, but she wasn't.
With hands running through her hair, the woman bounded towards the window tearing it open a little carelessly than she normally would. The wind immediately met her skin and the coolness slowed her heart rate a little more. But the deep breaths she took, the smell of the ocean and fresh rain, the sound, the reality- that's what brought her back slowly.
Calvin sat on the patio, bare legs pulled to her chest, hair down, and rain soaking. In a way, it felt as if she was washing away her sins, all the bad that she had done, all the people that she couldn't save. It was a temporary fix, this bliss couldn't last forever.
Wiping her wet cheek against her arm, Cal looked back into the dark room.
The moonlight peeked just barely into the room- just enough to light up the edges of his face. Jake was fast asleep, body sprawled across the couch with his laptop in front of him.
He seemed so peaceful, so relaxed, so in his own world.
She didn't want him to be in hers, to wake up like this, to fight reality from fiction. Jake deserved a peaceful life, a family, kids. all things she couldn't give him. No matter how hard she wanted to deny it, she knew what Jake wanted out of her. The feelings he had caught. There was no way to give him those things though, even if she mentally could- the wars she fought effected her in so many more ways than one.
Calvin was barely a human anymore. Instead, the woman remained a weapon- a piece of material ripped apart and put back together for the way in which her owner wanted. No matter how hard Jake tried, he couldn't fix that. he couldn't take that pain away. It was always there, not even Walker was able to stop it.
Again, she caved. Let her head fall backwards allowing the rain to travel down her face, neck, and body. With the rain, she cried. Silent tears begging for someone to hear them. It wasn't her though, Calvin didn't ask for help.
Above she knew her boys were watching her, wishing that there was something they could have done to stop the pain that she felt today.
Pain was how she lived though, it's how she carried on.
Deep inside, she was hoping it wouldn't be for much longer. That's what hurt her the most. Wherever her boys were, that's where she wanted to be. Not so she could feel whole again, but so she wouldn't have to hurt anyone else.
Jake was already the first in line for that. Calvin didn't want to add anyone else.
YOU ARE READING
Rising From The Flames
FanfictionMax was dead. The Loser's were safe; their fight was over, they had won, they were satisfied. All that is, but her. Calvin is on her own, eyes blinded by the rage of her fallen friends. She needs to find Simmons, take him down, but the question is...
