dear diary,
i'm okay. it's not like i ever thought that me and her would be close to an item anyway, but i kinda did so that makes me not okay. but it's easier for me to say that i'm okay so, i'm okay. she seems happy enough as he laces their fingers together and hugs her from behind, andre does. fucking andre.
but, like i said, i'm okay.
she looked at me today, did my dark haired beauty. but she's not mine and she never will be. but, i'm okay. the way her lips curved into a smirk when she noticed my stares made me blush like a school girl, even though i am a schoolgirl, i find that phrase to be cliche. but, it fits so i'll just say that i blushed like a fucking schoolgirl.
she walked past me and she smelled like vanilla and coconut, so i decided that vanilla and coconut were my new favourite scents. on the way home i purchased vanilla and coconut scented candles, but then i realised once i lit them that i was taking everything too far and so i gave them to my half sister. she doesn't like vanilla and coconut scented candles, just like she won't like my leigh-anne.
my father has always had a mild hatred towards me because of the race i inherit from my mother and because she left me on his doorstep. and then i became the half egyptian girl in a house full of my white side of the family in the early 1960's and i was different. but, different is good, i like different.
my leigh-anne is different.
jade x
