The Choice I Made

CHAPTER VII: Sweet Dream

My body froze. I stared at Eric without even bothering to blink. His words sent tingles to my spine.

"What did you say?" I asked for the fifth time, making sure that I heard him right.

"I killed Shane," he said in a placid voice.

"How," was the only word I managed to croak.

"Are you sure you want to hear it? I don't want to appear like someone who's trying to---"

"DAMN IT, ERIC! Just tell me what the hell happened!" I shouted. The revelation that my own best friend killed my brother is just too much to grasp. Who wouldn't explode?

He looked down as if stifling a cry then softly, he said, "Okay, then. But, remember, I'm telling you this not to beg for forgiveness. I've caused you pain and I don't deserve to be forgiven. If you don't want to see me ever again, I completely understand." When I didn't say a thing, he started telling his tale.

"It was a gloomy Friday afternoon, the day of your first race," his voice is a bit shaky. "I was supposed to meet my girlfriend, Anna. You remember her?" I nodded.

Anna is Eric's childhood playmate. She's two years older than him and he has a crush on her since kindergarten but it's only when he started middle school that Eric plucked the courage to ask her out. He loves her so much that I haven't seen a guy loved a girl the way he did. She's his life.

"That day, I planned to propose to her. I have already ironed out everything that are needed for the event but she didn't show up. I was worried that something might have happened so I went to her apartment to check up on her but what I saw was beyond my imagination. She was with another guy. But as if what I've seen is not enough proof that she's cheating on me, I asked her straightforwardly, only to find out that the guy she was with is her fiancé and that they're getting married the next month." He stopped and sighed heavily as if recounting the memory has cut him physically. The truth is, sometimes, painful memories really do.

I stayed silent and waited for him to gain his voice back. "I was devastated. The moment she turned her back at me, I broke into pieces. I wanted to forget, to heal, to relieve myself from the pain so I went to the local pub in town and got wasted. I couldn't remember clearly because I was so drunk but there's one thing I'm sure of--I called your brother. I didn't know how many hours or minutes have passed because the next thing I know is Shane dragging me out of the place. I recall thrashing out and making a scene. I must have hit some nerves of the patrons inside because I remember being thrown out of the place with Shane. Huge framed guys towered us and kept throwing punches. I saw Shane fighting it off with another guy but I was too wasted to help him. I tried when I gained a bit of consciousness but thinking about it now, I wish I didn't." Eric looked down at his trembling hands and I saw fat drops of tears fell.

His voice was shivering but he still continued. "I was charging to a huge guy in front of me with a broken bottle in my hand when I heard a gun fire. I looked back just in time to see Shane threw his body on me. He hang on to me for a short while, then his body dropped on my feet. In a matter of seconds, a pool of blood surrounded his head and---"

"Enough," I said with my eyes closed letting the tears stream down my already wet cheeks.

"Sam, I'm so sorry. You can hate me all your life. Curse me all you want," Eric was also crying but I couldn't care less. The image of my brother soaked in blood kept flashing on my mind and bile just kept rising to my throat.

"Samantha---" he reached out for my shoulder but I jerked his hand away.

"Get out, Eric. God forgive me with what I might do to you. So before sanity leaves me, get out!" I pointed to the door.