Dreams, Not So Romantic ✔(A Tale Of Two Muslims)

Chapter 37

Yazan

"I think you should" having said that, I walked inside, without turning to look back at her, not wanting to see her tears anymore, leaving her alone, in the dark, as tears ran down my face. Walking as fast as I could, so as to not meet any of my parents, not wanting them to see me in this condition, to see me in pain, the pain of betrayal and hurt, I was about to step up the stairs, when ammi's voice stopped me from behind.

"Yazan? Why are you all wet? And where is Sarah?" she asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

Clearing my throat as best as I could, and gulping down, I told her, without turning around, without looking at her, "Umm..Actually the car broke in the middle of the road, that explains my drenched form. And S-Sarah, will stay with her parents for a few days"

I hated lying, that too to my parents. Clenching my fists, I controlled myself from breaking down infront of her.

"Achha, she didnt tell me" she sounded confused to which I replied, "Yeah, I told her that I'll let you know" with that I ran up the stairs and inside my room. Shutting the door, I slid down and sat on the floor with a thud grabbing my head with my hands.

It was beyond my imagination of what was happening.. Of what had happened. I couldnt think straight, as tears kept flowing from my eyes, due to the pain I was having. A few days earlier I had confessed my love to her and I was so happy, but she had to ruin everything. All girls are the same, all of them.

Why did I trust her? Why did I fall in love with her? Ya Allah help me..

My heart didnt wanted to believe that she betrayed me, but my mind kept flashing the image of her hugging that boy again and again.

No she cant betray me..she cant hurt me..

But what about these two eyes who had witnessed such a heinous scene?

But I think she liked me? I could see it in her eyes..

But she never said it.. She never told me that she loved me or even liked me..

But her every action, every gesture spoke of her love toward me..

"Ya Allah, what do I do? Help me Ya Allah. I need you. I need you" I yelled as I broke into sobs.

What is happening to me? I never felt so pathetic, so weak.. Sarah, you did this to me..

I hate you.. You have made me vulnerable all over again.

It feels that I am that 15 year old boy again, fighting with my inner self, crying, grieving and falling into depression.

Everything was over. Everything had fallen apart. I felt that the world had come to an end. There is this distinct pain in my heart, which makes me feel as if my heart will stop any moment.

But I still love you..

How can I hate and love you at the same time..

I had loved her since the day I first saw her on our nikah, it just took me a few days to realise it. And since then this love has increased only, not even faltering for a second. So even if she betrayed me, how can I ever unlove her? Is that even possible?