October
"It'sjust up ahead," Burke pants.
A two weeks have passed since oursuccessful – yet confrontational- trade sale. We'd received ane-mail from Burke asking for us to meet him off the shoulder of adeserted dirt road ten miles out side of town. He didn't give us anyinformation to go on, just that he asked us to follow him. So here weare perusing Burke in the middle of the woods, clueless as to wherewe're going. Pointing directly forward he announces our approach,after trudging through shrubs for hours.
"How did you happenupon this Burke," Ben asks.
"Guessing mostly. I mapped out afew possibilities then branched out about five miles in eachdirection. It took a lot of time and patience, but when you haveunlimited time and a strong sense of determination, you'll be amazedat what you can find," he ponders.
Ben nods inagreement.
"Just a few more minutes, it's just over thathill."
Not wanting to seem weak, I hold in my protesting groan.Another hill? On the plus side, I feel pretty confident with thislocation. We have been traveling every bit of six hours and it'scompletely void of any human habitation. This place would be hard tocome by, on foot anyway. I'm the last to make it to the top. Everyoneelse has stopped, either to catch their breath or take in the scene.Maybe we've made it? With a few more huffs, I force myself to the topof the hill.
Old logs are stacked on top of one another withslabs of gray concrete holding them firmly to build the walls of thesmall but cozy hunters' lodge. A meager yellow window caked in dustlingers a few feet above the forest floor. Poking out on the eastside of the cottage is a shallow porch. Two wooden rocking chairsthat look well used are planted on each side of the entrance. One hasa few shards of wood missing on the seat. A chair that once welcomedany bottom now holds a sneer, flashing its two sharp rusty teeth. Theplace reeks of abandonment, long forgotten and left to rot.
"It'sperfect," I whisper to myself.
Burke smiles.
Obviouslypleased that we are as impressed with this find as he is heinsists,
"Come see the inside."
I wait for my eyesto adjust in the dim room. With only two cloudy windows to light theentire place, the cabin is drab. Burke's large body is blocking theonly open doorway, so not much light can get in. Cobwebs and dustblanket everything, including the air. Breathing here feels as if Iam inhaling through a thin blanket. The cottage is one large room. Ithas an open ceiling, which is good, considering our abnormally tallparty. A small fireplace welcomes us at the north wall. Everything isthe same color: the walls, the floor, the ceiling, all a grayingbrown, the color of age.
Ezrah is first to break thesilence.
"Where do we put the food," she blurts.
"Alreadygot you covered," Burke smirks, "Come on."
He pushes hisway back out of the only door in the cabin with Ezrah close behind.We all follow behind but stop on the porch to see Burke brush theleafy ground with his rough hands.
"What is he doing," Tommyasks quietly.
Burke smiles up at Ezrah who is kneeling besidehim and says,
"There are 6 of them. All beneath the nearesttrees."
He digs his robust fingers into the soft earth andlifts up a large plastic lid with minimal effort. We all step closerand peer into the hole the lifted earth discreetly secures.
"Atote," Ben smiles approvingly.
"And not just any tote, 6heavy duty waterproof black totes. The best money can buy. All ofwhich are buried securely underground. A generous hookup from an oldfriend. I took the liberty of filling 3 of them with bottledwater."
"We'll need at least one more to hide ourmedicine," Airea chirps.
"And one for weapons," Tommyexclaims.
"I can plant more, no problem," Burke nods inagreement.
"I don't know what to say, Burke, I'm in awe. You'vethought of everything. This is better than I think any of us couldhave expected," I praise.
Embarrassed, he crosses his largearms before looking to the distant tree tops. I can't be sure, dueto his red beard catching what little sunlight peered between thetrees, but it seems his face is a shade or two rosier than usual.
He mumbles, "Don't mention it," before clearing his throatawkwardly.
"Besides," he says louder, "what else am I gonnado? I live for this kind of thing. I'm just glad to be doingsomethin'."
Ben chimes in as he pats Burke on theshoulder.
"And do somethin' you did. Now let's eat!"
Thevery words I have been waiting to hear. I'm famished.
With eagerhands begin to shake as I try my best to contain my less than humanimpulse to rip open my backpack. The civilized side of me prevailsand I unzip the bag swiftly. Gently I pull out the soft red coolerthat contains two peanut butter sandwiches with blackberry jelly,carrot sticks with Italian dressing, and a large bag of kettle cookedpotato chips. I've been sipping on my liter of water the entire hikebut I have another frozen bottle stashed at the bottom of my pack.
Idevour half of my sandwich in the first bite as if I can't get itto my belly fast enough. Thanks to the excessive amount of blackberryjelly the food slides down with ease so I avoid choking from my quickconsumption of the chunky peanut butter. My nugget of suspenseinhabiting my womb swims in delight of the sticky goodness. Peanutbutter and jelly sandwiches seemed to be the little enigma'sfavorite food. I would drink the whole jar of jelly through a strawif I could, but that would probably be bad. It pops around in thereassertively as it is. How bad could the thing really be if it lovedpeanut butter and jelly?
Part way through my second sandwich Iremember there are others in company. Consumed by hunger, I'veforgotten everything else, including my manners. Quickly wiping mymouth with my free hand I look up, expecting the rest of the party tobe gawking at me, horrified by my less than civil table manners.Everyone seems occupied in their own hunger zone, though. Ben withhis cold pizza and warm soda, Burke with a large turkey club the sizeof my arm. Airea has a salad decorated with lots of nuts and fruit,and Ezrah is drinking from a large canteen, which I assume isprobably some kind of soup.
Dead leaves shift as somethingapproaches.
"You can read a map, well done," Burke says as herose to his feet.
I turn around to see Javan approaching ourstealthy hideout.
"Sorry I am late, guess I've gotten a littlerusty since scouts," he laughs.
I turn back to my food only todismiss it due to my lack of appetite.
"I have extra if you arehungry Javan come join us," Aira offers.
Coasting forward hereplies,
"Thanks, I ate on the way though. Granola, tangerinesand some corn chips."
He pats his firm stomach.
"So, thisis the bunker huh? Nice find, I haven't seen anyone around formiles," he regards.
"We keep this between us guy," Burkecautions.
"Absolutely, no problem," he replies.
Everyonecontinues to eat their meal in silence.
Later Javanapproaches me as I'm shifting through Ezrah's food stash. I find apack of powdered doughnuts and grab them eagerly. Using my teeth, Irip open the plastic bag.
"You don't like that I am here," hestates.
"Not even a little," I agree, smiling before turningaway towards the cabin.
"We're going to have to be civil toeach other to make this work," he insists, pursuing me.
Ishrug.
"Idon't have to do a damn thing. We keep our distance, everything'sfine,"
"Why are you so hostile," he gripes.
"Why are youso persistent to be involved in my life somehow? Why is it that now,all of a sudden you are everywhere I am," I accuse.
"Ourtown has what like 6 people in it? I'm sorry the population isn'tgrand enough to give you new faces to loathe," he snaps.
"Whereare we," I ask.
"In the middle of the woods," hereplies.
"Exactly, why are you here," I exclaim, "This hasnothing to do with you, yet here you are injecting yourself intosomething you have no business being involved with."
"Well wehappen to be interested in the same subject then. Just because youhave a stick up your ass doesn't mean I am going to allow you to beimpertinent to me. So I lied about myself, big deal! I don't know youand I don't owe you my life story. Get over yourself," he shoutsbefore stepping off the porch we were both standing on.
"I'mgonna go scope out for a fresh water source that might be near by,"he grumbles to Burke before disappearing into the trees.
"Thatwas nothing," Ezrah asks me suspiciously.
"It was a mistakebringing him here," I remark.
Uponhis return, Javan leans against a large stick he found on his shortvoyage and says,
"There's a stream about ten minutes east ofhere. There are lots of squirrels too, rabbits and things like that.Good food sources if we need them."
"Good work. Alright, webetter pack up and head out if we want to make it back before dark.Anything nonperishable that you don't want to carry along leave ithere. Well use it later," Burke announces.
After easing ourloads into the now hidden tote we make our exit. With Burke leadingthe way, Ben is beside him talking in depth, surely about the futureplans for the cottage. Ezrah and Airea follow close behind, quietlylost in their own thoughts. I fall behind, tired. I'm not feeling toorushed to keep up. A familiar prickle creeps up my neck, calling myattention to Javan who is staring at me once again. His intense eyessettle on mine.
"You look tired," he notes.
Rubbing myswollen belly, I huff.
"Because I am. This will be my only tripup here until we need to bunker down. The walk is too much for me."
His gaze follow my hands. I watch him register what he must havemissed in our previous iterations.
I pat my stomach and sigh,
"The further along my belly grows, the less strength I'llhave."
He remains quiet for a while, trying to connect the dotsmaybe? Good luck with that one.
"I could help carry you, youknow. What are you, 150 pounds? If that. I carry that on a dailybasis,"
"Yeah, your ego," I laugh.
"Seriously, let mehelp you. I've been of no help during this trip. I'm pretty sure yourfriends see me as a lazy jerk."
"Among other things," Iallow.
"Help me out."
"You helped to find a watersource didn't you," I counter.
Rolling his eyes hereplies,
"Oh yeah, walking around aimlessly in the woods reallytakes a lot of skill. That was a lucky guess at best."
"So,allowing you to carry me would be doing you a favor? Make you seemlike a part of the team right? Yeah, okay," I scoff, "Thanks butno thanks."
"Pride is a very dangerous thing to have, Anna,"he whispers in my ear.
A gasp escapes me as he scoops me up andcradles me like a small child. I kick and push against his iron gripwith no avail. I look up at him with the most vicious look I canmanage. He leads his head back booms a charming laugh, the firstsincere laugh I have heard from him. It's a captivating sound,maybe even enjoyable. Everyone turns their head around at the sound.Curiosity brims in most of their eyes, but other emotions driftbeneath. Burke holds a small smirk while Ben displays a subtlegrimace. Airea and Ezrah glare in subtle disarray.
Shaking hishead in mock annoyance as he rolls his eyes he says,
"Pregnancyis taking its toll on her, she asked me to carry her."
Theyturn back around without a word and we continue our journey home.Javan leans in close, his lips are inches from mine. An intoxicatingcurrent grows stronger. I'm alarmed by fear at my response. Beingcompletely honest with myself, I recognize that desire loomssoftly.
"If you plan on keeping some of your dignity," hewhispers, "I'll allow you to climb onto my back. If you try to run,I will catch you and carry you just like this, like an infant, forthe next couple of hours. Can I trust you?"
I can't shake thefeeling that there is an underlying meaning to that last question. Itlays heavy on my heart. Nodding quickly, I agree. Anything to get outof this demeaning situation. He puts me down gently and I walk aroundto his back and jump up, clinging to him like a small monkey. Helifts me up securely, using my thighs as leverage. Thankful to bebehind him now, I feel my traitorous blush flood my face, relievedthat it will go unnoticed.
