Vice
Itis close to noon and the sun hangs high in the sky without a singlecloud blocking its view. Four of my incompetent men stare at thestraw dispersed along the barn house floor. The air is thick andsmells of dust and hay. One of the men shuffles his feetnervously.
"Explain yourselves," I boom, "You!"
Pointing to the young guard, I demand,
"Whathappened?"
"I-I'm not sure, that mangy chick went crazy! Iheard her scream so I turned around to see what was going on and thebig guy was waiting for me. He slammed my head against the barsbefore choking me out. He's like three times my size, how can Icompete with that? I woke up to see they got my keys and escaped,"he shrugs.
"I didn't realize the gun you were given wascompletely useless! Was the man bullet proof or were you too stupidto remember you had one," I roar.
"And where were youidiots?"
They look at one another. Finally, the ring leaderDaren speaks up.
"Well everything seemed quiet enough, I meanwho would have expected this to happen? None of us had eaten sinceyesterday, it took a lot of strength and effort to wrestle andcontain those three. Once we got them secured in there, we figuredit would be okay to run five miles down the road to grab abite..."
My anger burns bright and I bellow,
"And youfigured all three of you needed to go along for the ride? Never mind.Maybe I am just not understanding this correctly. You there in themiddle, come here," he motions.
A shaken man who they call Rusepoints to himself, confused.
"Yes, you. Open that door thereand explain to me exactly how they got out this way."
Lookingconfused, Ruse lifts the wooden door open. He bends down on all foursand points down the underground hallway.
"That's the only waythey could have escaped. There's no other way out," heinforms.
With one gunshot, I shoot the shoulder he's using toprop himself up. His body crashes through the weak ladder beforecrumpling against the solid ground. In shock, all three faces of thestooges freeze. I pull up my gun and point it to the guard and pullthe trigger. He collapses in front of the other two men, dead. Shockis carved into his lifeless eyes, the same stare the rest of them nowdisplay on their faces.
"Useless, all of you. Clean this trashup," I command before harnessing my gun. "You're all absolutelyworthless. You're lucky I don't kill all of you right now, but thenI would have a mess on my hands to deal with. Vultures, that's whatyou are good for, cleaning up the putrid garbage of the earth. Afteryou have cleaned up here, I don't ever want to see any of your facesagain. Consider this a warning. If you breathe a word of any of thisto anyone, I will silence you. Remember what I have over your heads.I'm giving you a gift, the gift to live another day. Don't make meregret it."
"Morons," I mumble as I slam myself intothe drivers side of my glossy black Lincoln. The sensation offamiliar eyes burned into the back of my skull. I try my best toignore it, until I see Father in the back seat through my rear viewmirror. Mother is right beside him, directly behind me. Granted, theyare not there in a physical form, but that doesn't make them any lessauthentic. My real parents are tucked away, deep underground. Silence follows as I revert my car down the dusty path and back ontothe paved road. My knuckles turn white as I grip the steering wheelhard, bracing myself for the memories that are about to flood mypsyche. My past is a fragmented one, something I only remember bitsand pieces of. It's never linear, elements of memories simultaneouslydisperse and reappear in careless order. I pull over and turn to facemy Mother and Father.
"I am here to further establish theorder of ultimate enlightenment. I don't need you two herebabysitting me. I fear nothing, feel nothing. Humans are beneath me,I am a god. "
My father scoffs,
"I am to assume you havethis all under control after what we just witnessed?"
Mymemories blast me back to the age of 5, where I am strapped down to acold wooden table. Father is holding my eyelids open as a brightstrobe light flashes into them rapidly. The memory fades into mysolitary confinement where I was kept for nearly a year, or so I wastold. My only other interaction was with a brown stuffed bear namedbuttons. His soft fur was a comfort to me and I loved it deeply. Hewas dismembered before me upon my release from the "safekeeping".I shake off the memory.
"Never forget son, we made you," myFather chides from behind me.
Another memory crashes over me.Strapped down once again my mother feeds me the devils eye. She tellsme it will dwell in my belly, forever watching me. It makes me doevil things, unthinkable things. Her fingers drip with blood as sheinserts the slimy round ball into my mouth before holding it shut.She clamps her fingers over my nose so I cannot breathe. I swallowhard. The pain in my stomach as it slithers down is unbearable. Iblink away the fragmented memory.
The latch pops open as I pushmy way out of the smoldering vehicle. I press my thumb and fingerinto my tightly shut eyes as I try to ignore the shards of fragmentedmemories that are cutting deep into my psyche.
Seven years oldand I am ready to attend the parties. Of course, they were not thekind of parties you would normally bring kids too, but who said wewere normal? Mother drove us down an abandoned path deep in theforest. The parties were always late in the night, my two sisterswith me. Allison was nine, Chloe was four. Mother dropped us off atthe end of a dark dirt path and told us to follow it until we come toa cabin at the end. The moons light will guide our path she wouldsay.
Once inside we were given candy and punch. Unbeknownst tous the candy was laced with LSD, the punch spiked with hard liquor.The adults were also drinking and doing drugs. My sisters and I werefrightened by the visions and strange people who surrounded us. I wasnot allowed to comfort them, they must stand on their own. The partywas later lead deeper into the somber woods where a large bonfireburned bright in the middle of a grassy field. The adults worecostumes, masks or robes that hid their faces. The celebrationdetermined the themed attire. Being high on LSD while surrounded bycostumes with animal heads and melted faces was enough to paralyzeanyone in fear, especially children. On this particular night theyall dressed in robes that covered their faces. They positioned usaround the bonfire so we could face each other, to watch each otherstorment.
I fight against the memories, but they always win. Thetorment from the memories of sexual and physical abuse has long beencauterized, I no longer feel pain whether mental or physical. Thememories of my sisters pleas, their screams echo my thoughts but Iremain disengaged. I submit to the crushing thoughts, allowing themnow to take over.
Seventeen and I have graduated from the abused,to the abuser. As the chosen Red Deity it was now my responsibilityto choose who was sacrificed. If I refused to choose, my mother wouldchoose for me and it was always the person I cared about the most. Ilearned to not care, after all they are humans. Humans are lesservermin, glorified beasts. I am a direct decedent of angels. I am thechosen one, this is what I was born to do. Being an emotional voidmade me stronger. It was the job of everyone in our cult to causephysical harm to me, to teach me to no longer feel pain. It workedwell for I no longer feel anything. It was during that period that mypersona "Vaul" came to be. He is a blood thirsty, irrationaldemon that comes forward during my duty as the tribe's ritual leader.He is the only thing in the world now that scares me. Vaul drinks theblood and eats the flesh of frightened children to keep hismortality. Their adrenaline makes it more potent, so striking fearinto them first before sacrifice is a must.
Reality calls me backto the drivers side of my car. I notice the back seat is now empty.After clicking on the radio, Minuet in G begins to fill the air. Iroll down the windows and relish the fresh air that rushes in.
