i say i am fat
i'm told not to talk about myself like that
of all my self deprecation
that is the one you choose
i say i am fat
i'm told i'm not
then why is it the first word used to describe me from strangers
fat is ugly
fat is horrible
fat is the worst thing you could be
fat is what i am
but it isn't all i am
i am fat
but i still have worlds in my mind that eventually find their way through my fingers onto the paper
i am fat
but i am still willing to die for my friends, a loyalty that can never be killed, not even when they break my heart
i am fat
but still harsh words can wiggle under my skin, burn against my bones and leave me scarred
i am fat
but i can be so much more
than the body you see
you hate it
i do too
but it's all i have
this is a body of could be, would be, should be
a body of possibilities
a body of futures
a body of chances
but a body that won't change
so i will try to accept it and all it's flaws, and believe me there's plenty
i will accept myself one day
so please do not act like i am not my body
we are one
and if you refuse the existence of one the other will collapse
i am fat
and i can be beautiful
