What Love Hasn't Conquered

Smile

You know that I'm a crazy bitch

I do what I want when I feel like it

All I wanna do is lose control

 But you don't really give a shit

You go with it, go with it, go with it.

'Cause you're fucking crazy rock'n'roll....

 And that's why I smile

- Avril Lavigne

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Alina's POV

Josh kept the heat on high as we road the endless highway to nowhere. The radio is on but the volume is so low I don't recognize the song. I've been staring out my window since we left the hospital and Josh has left me to myself. Maybe for the best, maybe not. Every tree we pass my eyes get heavier and soon I'll be sleep's prisoner. I turn in my seat to face Josh and watch him for a moment before speaking, "Can we stop somewhere for the night?" My voice comes out low, barely audible and for a moment I think I've gone unheard.

Josh nods and watches the exit signs for hotels. He finds one after pulling off at an exit and then swiftly glides into the parking lot. I sit in the car for a moment starring at the outer wall of the hotel before me. Suddenly my door swings open and Josh reaches in his hand to help me out of the car. The rest of the night is all a blur. Somehow Josh and I made it to a room with our bags. I remember warm water cascading down my body and the warmth of a fresh towel along with the smell of clean hair. I remember clean sheets and a soft pillow, a swift kiss planted on my forehead and a soft "goodnight" from across the room.

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 I wake up that next morning and almost forget where I am. Sitting up in bed, I glance around the room. Beige walls and landscape pictures are all I see. Josh is snoring in a seperate bed on the other side of the room. It's still early and I can smell the hotel's complementary breakfast. I get out of bed and go into the bathroom to wash my face and put on some clothes from my book bag.

I head downstairs and grab a fresh blueberry muffin, a glass of orange juice, and sit down at an empty table. The news is playing on an old television in the corner of the room.

This morning a young man from Boston, Massachusetts was pronounced dead. He had been shot the night before in his home while his parents were gone and only he and his sister were at home. His sister called in to the local police to report someone had broken into the house and shot her brother. The police found the young man on his sister's bedroom floor and the girl is pronounced missing.

The girl is seventeen years of age....

A picture of me flashes across the screen.

If found please call local police.

I finish my breakfast and grab and extra muffin and a juice box for Josh. Rushing upstairs I find Josh just waking up. "Good morning, Beautiful." He smiles at me and I walk over and give him a quick kiss. He stops and scans my face and his eyes fill with worry for a moment. "What's wrong?"

Handing him the muffin and the juice I go to sit at a desk chair in the corner of the room. "The news is putting up missing pictures of me. I don't know what we're going to do now." My head begins to ache the slightest bit and I look to Josh, hoping for a reaction. He sets down his breakfast on the bedside table and walks over to me with open arms, gesturing me to come to him.

"I'll take care of everything, okay? Don't worry about anything." His tone is soft and reassuring. I'm instantly calm and content just from being in his arms. Josh kisses my forehead and uses his hand to lift my face to his. "Trust me, A." I smile and forget everything in his eyes.

"I trust you"

The rest of the morning Josh and I spend relaxing in the room: watching TV, telling stories, ordering room service. Everything is comfortable, until my cell phone rings. I look over and see my mom's name pop up on the screen. Panic builds up inside of me, but only for a moment. "Just ignore it. Let it ring." Josh watches me watch the phone ring. After it stops I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in.

In that moment of silence Josh and I say nothing. Then his phone rings.

He looks down at it for a moment and then up to me, "It's your mom." He looks at me waiting and I nod unsure of what I'm agreeing to. Josh picks up the phone and answers it on speaker. "Hello?"

There's a frantic cry in the background and then a moment of complete silence before my mother comes to the phone, "H-- Hello, Josh."

"Mrs. Carter, is everything alright." Josh does his best to sound concerned.

"It's Alina. She's gone missing and we were wondering if maybe she was just with you?" My mother's voice is cracked and wet. My stomach drops a bit at her pain.

"No. No ma'am she isn't with me. My parents went on vacation for a few weeks and I left town a few days after. The last time I saw Alina was the day Grant and I got in that fight at school."

"Oh." I hear her sob into the phone again at the mention of her lost child. "Well if you hear from her, call me." Her voice cracks once again.

"Of course, Mrs. Carter." With that Josh hangs up the phone and looks over to me. "You okay?" I nod but I don't believe I am okay. My body feels numb, like I'm not here with it. "Come'on we'll go out, have some fun."

I feel my face turn up in a smile as Josh tries his best to cheer me up.

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"What do you want to do first?" Josh looks over to me and I take a moment to decide as we walk hand in hand through the downtown streets. I think for a beat too long and Josh squeezes my hand, "How about ice cream?" I smile and nod and we take off towards a Baskin Robbins two blocks down.

Bright blue and pink signs fill the inside of the cold building. We walk up to the counter and a pimple-faced boy around fifteen comes to take our order. "A strawberry cone for the lady and a mint chocolate chip for me." The cashier rings up our order and then struggles to get a sufficient scoop of ice cream.

Giggling I sit down across from Josh and enjoy my ice cream cone. I finish slightly shivering and Josh hands me his jacket. I watch him take it off and my eyes trace over his arms. Scars cover his hands and wrists.

He catches me staring and shifts his body uncomfortably. I take the jacket and with a small thank you I look away. "I think there's a park around herd somewhere. You wanna go?"

"Yeah." I smile up at him and he reaches out for my hand. Pulling it to his lips he kisses my fingers and then begins to pull me in the direction of the park.

A few blocks later we're there and in the distance I spot swings. Josh lets go of my hand and I race across the park for the red seat. I throw myself into the seat and in no time Josh is behind me, pushing me on the swing. "Higher!"

I feel my face ready to rip from how hard I'm smiling. I hear Josh laughing behind me and in that moment I'm happier than I've ever been.

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