Calm Me Down (girlxgirl)

chapter five: euphoric

Next day

I stood in front of her trying to keep my posture but my knees shook slightly. I avoided her eyes looking only on her shoulder, her small fragile frame made me want to protect her and that is why I am standing in front of her.

"Lamia" I voiced softly afraid to startle her yet she still jumped back making me feel guilty, i gripped my hand tighter behind my back. Why did she have to stand like a delicate flower, full of layers of petal I wanted to uncover, but I couldn't even uncover mine.

"I Theia, ruler over the North Realm and Queen of all werewolves, reject our bond" Athena howled in pain that I also felt, it was as if I was killed over and over again. I stared at Lamia only to see her stare confused though I could see her sweet brown eyes were no longer there.

She smiled heartbrokenly and I closed my eyes to let Athena out. I opened my eyes into Athena's ones but this time they needn't be golden, they were my green ones with purple strikes.

"Lisa?" Athena's soothing voice rang and Lamia's wold, Lisa nodded before bowing her head, "I'm sorry" She uttered. Athena's wolf form rested her forehead with Lisa's ones.

"I'm sorry I have failed you before and for failing you now" Athena choked out but Lisa stayed quiet, half heartedly pulling back, Athena stared into her favourite eyes."Please, don't do this" Lisa pleaded, Athena looked down and avoided her mate's gaze as a tear slowly fell from her eyes and down her cheek, tears that hadn't fallen for 10 years. "I only long to embrace you like this each second I spend with you" Athena scrunched her face and sniffed, "But that's impossible" Athena closed her eyes before pulling back and whimpering.

"From this day forward, you cannot present yourself in front of me, i forbid it" Athena walked away, it took everythingin her to let out a threatening growl, "Leave!" she thundered to Lisa which made her submit and leave.

Alone we stood but not for long as we fell down on our stomach, closing her eyes and opening them to normal ones. I sit up and look around and I geel Athena grow weaker, we lost a sense of our purpose. A sudden pain ripped itself into my chest. I screamed in agony and I felt the she did too and my vision blurred.

...

I bolted up from my sleep, chest heaving and sweats around my forehead. My eyes were wet when I touched them. it was a dream. Athena also bolted before going back into her sleep as if unbothered. We didn't share dreams so Athena didn't know.

I scrunched my face in confusion before holding my chest that was beating rapidly, but a cold breeze found itself inside my chambers which made me stand on my feet. Upon hearing me awake, servants filled the room and straight into my closet. I stood dazed and let them change me into a velvet red dress that fitted into my figure well. After they were done I pulled my arms back and almost bolted out of the doors.

I saw a familiar face walk towards me and I stopped and stood in front of her letting her bump into me, "Ah!" She fell back "I'm sorr-" She looked up only to see me before getting up quickly on her feet and bowing "Your highness!" I ignored her eye contact and looked away, "Casie, is it?" I spoke, Casie turned her head to my direction, i saw her eyes go wider as she recognised who had called out to her.

She bowed quickly again,  "Please forgiv-", i immediately shushed her by raising my hand, "I don't want anything to do with you" That somehow made her tense figure slightly release "The girl you were with yesterday, where is she?"

"Your Highness. She and I share the same dorm down the servants' place" i nodded my head at her before walking past her, bumping shoulder slightly. I heard her release a big sigh of relief that she was holding in.

if only she knew I would never hurt someone that has been there to take care of Lamia I shook my head before proceeding on my way.

Not long before I stood in front of the West wing, where majority were the Kingdom workers, that is why there were more castles in my Realm. I passed servants who were still awake, as they saw me, all of them had their eyes wide and bowed forming a straight line on my left and right.

I could smell her euphoric scent, and proceeded to enter into a smaller and quieter rooms. Away from the frightened and shivering servants. I stood with my back against the door and that is when I saw her. Just seeing her made me feel calm in a way I hadn't been. I silently crept onto her figure until was looking down on her. Almost whimpering from her tired figure and bruised arms most probably from labour. She shivered in her sleep and like an instinct I looked around the room searching for a cloth that could help warm her. My footsteps stopped midway as i saw a blanket inside an old closet that was ajar. The closet creaked as I open them wider and grabbing the blanket, I made my way back to her and covering her with it. This time i sat next to her for awhile, I hesitantly caress her cheeks with the back of my hand and watched as she took deep breathes, she looked calm and at peace, i leaned down near her lips, i could feel my breathing change, I reached higher and inched closer to kiss her on her forehead.

"I don't deserve you" i whispered before resting my forehead with hers. For awhile I sat on her bed and stroked her cheeks now and then. She was broken and I badly wanted to piece her together but I need to piece myself too. It wasn't just fate after all. She shuffled in her sleep before stretching out, making a noise that made me bolt up and without looking back I bolted out of the room. The place was empty with no servants most likely called for their duty. I sighed and rested my head on the door but this time I was at the opposite end. "Casie?" Lamia called out which tore me, it should have been my name. I shook my head and continued to walk away from her.

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I stood on the garden watching everyone do their duty, I only watched as the flowers swayed with the wind and how the trees danced with the howling sound of the air. Birds sang gracefully enjoying the morning sun.

I closed my eyes in attempt to stop myself from thinking about her, which did not work. I clutched my chest in attempt to ease the pain knowing that I should have been there. But I knew that she could change me and break the walls I built. I knew that she could do it so easily and that made her dangerous and I could not let myself get lost. I sighed frustratedly before running into the direction of the forest and I jumped only to land with Athena's majestic wolf form.

I ran and ran until I felt myself go against the force of the wind, my heavy fur flew each time I jumped. I felt free at this moment no one can invade my head. I ran like I hadn't for awhile, for 10 years I have managed to make everyone fear me and for 10 years I have managed to be by myself .

No I'm not going to need anyone not now not ever

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