Calm Me Down (girlxgirl)

nine: winter war

I held her hand and tightened my hold every now and then to assure myself that she was still next to me. I let myself be carried away by the vulnerable feeling I had. After seeing her again, my brother, and my parents.

I took a deep breathe before sighing. All I knew was that right now, she makes me feel at ease, safe and the most calm i have ever been even during all the chaotic mess outside of these four walls.

I hurt so many people and therefore, I don't deserve to live. Everyone around me leaves and its my fault. I have been cursed by the goddess because everyone I have ever loved, dies. Emilia, mother, father, brother, even Titus. I hate myself for being so caught up with my cruelty and avoiding my emotions, I hate myself for shutting everything out. It did nothing good and only led to Lamia being tor- being hurt for so long and its all because of me. I let this happen to her. She forgives me but I will never forgive myself.

A knock on the door made us sit up and I missed her touch as soon as she moved away from me, much to my dismay. Casie gently entered the room and upon seeing both of us well, she released a sigh of relief. "Oh thank goddess" She placed her hand on her chest exhaling. "Both of you got me worried there, what had happened?" She bowed her head slightly.

I sighed and stood up from the bed and sat on the couch next to it. Brushing my hair back as I diverted my eyes from Lamia to Casie "Section 4 was under attack-" Casie rudely interrupted as she panicked, "What?! Is there going to be war again Your M-" I raised my hand and gave her a look that made her shut up.

"I will make sure that our Kingdom will be very well protected" I looked into Lamia's somewhat worried expression, Casie nodded and looked at Lamia, "Are you feeling better?" She asked but Lamia was in a daze, Casie called out her name that made Lamia sit up and look around, I tuck a strand of hair behing her ear "Are you feeling better?" I asked for both Casie and I. All Lamia did was nod silent, I looked at Casie knowingly.

"I'm glad everything are well, now may you both please excuse me i've got matters to attend to" I got up from the bed and walked towards the door but a hand caught me by surprise. As I turned around, Lamia tightened her hold around my arm. "No" She whispered that I almost didn't understand what she shared.

"Actually Your Majesty, may I be excused as I have other duties to tend to. You can stay here with Lamia as she won't have anyone looking after her and all" Before I could utter a reply, Casie was out the door in a heartbeat. The door slammed and we were once again in silence. Lamia released her hold on me which made me more confused. Did she want me to stay or not?

"Stay" She mumbled and her gaze from the ground slowly made its way to my eyes, though, through the darkness I can still see those brown eyes. I squinted enough to see a pool of tears forming around her eyes, "Please stay" She muttered. I looked down at her and made my way so I could stand in front of her. I held her chin delicately making her look at me, smiling slightly I felt weaker every second. "Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere" I breathed out and caressed her cheeks.

"Ok"

--

I stared into the celling, my thoughts clouded preventing me from sleeping. The kiss was brief but it was enough to keep me awake, plus there were so many thoughts that clouded my mind. I glance at thr clock on the wall and it read 9pm. The war, her pain, and the kiss. Goddess her lips were sweet and delicate. I sighed heavily but quietly, careful to not wake up the sleeping girl next to me. I laid on the bed awkwardly, there was a small gap between us so I tucked my arms on my side. I carefully turned my head to her direction hesitantly but the minute I saw her, I could swear my chest pounded.

Her body faced me as her hands held together and supported the side of her face. I stayed staring at her, never seeming to get tried until she suddenly gasp awake "No" She mumbled as her face scrunched together. I softly shushed her in attempt to calm her from her dream. "Stop" She mumbled again making my chest hurt at the sight. Without thinking, I pulled her to me putting her head on my chest and held a protective hand on her head as i caressed her hair, i continued to calmly shush her. Her small mumbles and soft cries eventually stopped as she continued sleeping.