Redemption

Blades and Blemishes

Blades and Blemishes

Do you ever get that feeling? Like you're being pulled apart, like you're being confronted for a sin you haven't committed. As if there's a sulfurous plague howling and thinning out within your body; a product of the mind, so real, so happening, you can feel the pain being inflicted upon you, physically. Like you're dying but you don't want to die. Like you're at war-unarmed and untrained. Lost, weak, broke?

Raking my finger tips through my hair, I forced my glasses upwards, so they rested on my scalp. I clicked my ball point again and again and fidgeted with its clip. I felt so helpless, like my hands were tied. Writing wasn't a huge deal for me, but I was going through writer's block. I'd write something, read it and reread it, then tear the page out of my notebook, crumple it and throw it away. I'd been doing this all day. So far, I'd managed to write nothing-absolutely nothing.
"I give up!" I huffed throwing my hands up in the air in a dramatic fashion. Leaving my diary and stationary behind, I exited the lawn and made my way towards the kitchen. Food was always the answer, I thought to myself, nothing some good old chocolate bar can't fix. I pulled out a Kitkat from the chilled box, and started unfolding the crinkled aluminum wrap. Sinking my teeth deep into the chocolate wafer, I licked and savored the sweetness, until it dissolved in my mouth.
There, I already felt better. I walked my way towards the patio and slouched onto a chair. Casually, I flicked open my pocket diary and unhooked my pen. 'Sik, sik, sik' the metallic lead glided onto the white sheet of paper, as it spewed down its inky contents I smiled with satisfaction. I could write, finally. I sat there scribbling for a couple of hours, until my hands started to ache; I stuffed the diary into the side pocket of my jeans, clicked the pen shut and yawned.

****

Sunlight filtered through a meshwork of leaves in the Baobab trees and gently stroked my skin, bringing me back to my senses. The morning air was dense and warm as it flushed into my lungs and I felt as if, I'd been recreated overnight. I unrolled my eyelids, my vision steadied after a momentary blur and I woke up to the sound of birds humming and chirping. I absorbed my surrounding, and it hit me-I slept on the wooden patio floor, last night. I chuckled at my foolishness, oh well; I must've been really tired to have slept here.

I jogged upstairs to my room and locked the door shut once I had entered. After taking a quick shower, I slipped into my uniform and got ready for school. Making a quick pit stop at the kitchen counter, I cupped my tiffin box and an almond muffin, Ammi had wrapped in plastic film for breakfast. Unwrapping the spongy cake, I pulled on my satchel and exited the apartment.

Ayaan and Aliyaan were caught up in fits of laughter as I walked into the coaster. I ignored them and quietly seated myself, like always. In all my schooling years, I succeeded to befriend only one person; Maheen or as I like to call her, Mahi-soft, sweet, sassy. A scarf neatly embraced her scalp-holding behind her dusky brown hair which cascaded down till her back like waterfall. There was a mischievous twinkle in her eyes; dark, flinty, sexy. Her face always lit up as she spoke and her cheeks flushed pink. I loved how she confidently showcased those nerdy glasses which rested on her perfectly contoured nose-at all times. She's gone away to Karachi, leaving me all by myself. I miss her; I hope she comes back soon.

"Hey." Aliyaan whispered, scooting towards the empty seat beside me. I had a seventh sense, or as I liked to call it, my 'Aliyaan-sense'. Every time we'd be under the same roof, my skin would burn and the air inside the room would change all of a sudden and it would remain like that until he left. I mentally calculated the number of centimeters he was away from me. He sat pretty close to me, my blood rushed and my skin tingled.
"Hey." I mimicked him.
"So? What do I have to do for you to change your mind?" he asked, flashing a boyish smile.
I was dazed after, I saw those pearly whites, it's humanly impossible to have such perfect teeth.
"Fia?" he snapped me out of my momentary trance.