The Journey Thru My Life

School

I walked into those doors feeling nervous already. Asher walked to me to the office. But on the way we got stopped by a boy about Asher and mine's age. He was taller then me and Asher combined,they boy also had brown eyes with bronze colored hair, but not nearly as beautiful as Asher's. "Ash!"he yelled from across the hall. He ran to us. "Hey Ash" he said. "Dude are you aware there's a pretty girl standing next to you"the boy whispered to Asher. I blushed red, I could feel the warmth radiating off my face,while Asher nudged his friend in the stomach with his elbow and chuckled. "Serenity this is my friend Liam" Asher introduced us as he made a gesture with his hands. "Why hello pretty lady"said Liam. Asher threw him a dirty look. Huh so Liam was one of those cocky teenage boys nice to know. "Nice to meet you Liam"I said. "You too,but you know I don't remember seeing a face as pretty as yours during orientation"he said. Asher spoke before I could "She's a late entry dumbo"his tone was flat and harsh. "Oh no wonder I've never seen you before," "so are you new here or something?"Liam asked. Asher looked back and forth before he punched Liam in the arm "Quite it man,you're being rude"Asher said in the same flat harsh tone. "Ouch"cried Liam "sorry Serenity"he said. "Na it's okay no harm no foul," I waved the concern away with my hand "I am new here,I'm from Nevada actually" "Asher" he looked at me "I would prefer you didn't defend me, I can do that myself" I said in a firm voice. Liam starts laughing his heart out "Ya sure you can,Serenity," he laughed some more "a little thing like you could never take on a big guy like me." He kept laughing. I could see Asher about to take another hit at his friend. I caught his fist with my hand. "Allow me"I told Asher. He was hesitant as he lowered his fist,giving me a puzzled look. "Trust me" I whispered in a low voice so only Asher could hear. "Cover me" I whispered to him. "What?"he responded sounding more then confused. "Cover me" I said again. He gave me a puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders. Liam was still laughing with a smile on his face. Let's see who's laughing when I get a hit at you I thought. I'll wiped that goofy grin off your face quicker then you got it. I put my right hand into a hard firm fist. I thought about the words Liam said to me. Then I took a swing to his stomach,and for the cherry on top I hit him in the same arm as Asher has struck him in. I could tell I knocked the wind out of him,because first he held his stomach and a big whooshing sound come out of his mouth,and then he rubbed his arm where we'd punched him. Asher had a surprised look on his face,I took that into offense,but I needed him, I'd get him back for that later. After a second we both burst out into laughter. "Not so funny,huh" I said in a amused voice. "Let that be the last time you call me little" I sneered at that last word. "Are we clear?" I asked him grabbing his injured shoulder. "Yes"he breathed. "Good" I told him. Asher was biting his lip clearly trying real hard not to laugh. I turned to face him. "Asher shall we go?" He nodded obviously not trusting his words. He was still biting his lip and now he was clutching his fist to his mouth. We started walking. I came to a stop,I turned around to face Liam. "Bye Liam"I said in a teasing voice making flirty fingers. Asher couldn't help himself he burst into laughter after that,and we kept walking. "He's not going to blab,right?" I whispered to Asher. "No," he said "he knows what's coming to him if he does,plus he wouldn't want to admit he got beat up by a girl" I gave him a sharp look "no offense" he added on the end. "Bye the way nice right hook you got there". I chuckled "thanks."
We got to the office and there was a long line at the door. "Dang it," Asher said under his breath "I should have known we'd be stuck in line,we should have come earlier," "Sorry"he said sheepishly. "Na it's okay,don't sweat it." The line wasn't that long so I decided not to freak out school starts at 8:30
5 minutes later we were at the front of the registration line. They took me into another room to take my pictures and to give me my school ID. Bye the time I got out of the room Asher had both our schedules and was waiting for me bye the exit.
"Sorry Ash" I told him. "It's okay,don't worry about it," "So how about that tour I promised?" "Lead the way all mighty tour guide" I said playfully. I was scanning my schedule on the way to begin our tour. My schedule wasn't difficult. First period I had history with Mr. Lee. Then I have Science with Ms. Hampton. Third period I have Mrs.Jonas for Math. Fourth period I have English with Mr. Reed. After I would have Fifth period Photography class,(was my choice of elective, it was that or Spanish) with Mr. Anderson. Last I had Study Hall with Mrs. Roberts. I was deep in thought when Asher spoke again "Hey our schedules are almost identical"he said enthusiastically. "Huh, what?" I asked him. He chuckled "Our schedules dum dum." I scanned our schedules he was right only periods we didn't have together were third,and fifth period. "Oh you're right" I told him. "Well let's get to first period" he said. "Sure sure" I told him. I was worried about something, what if I got too distracted by Asher in almost all of my classes. The last thing I needed was for the this feeling for him to turn into affection. Smart people didn't get married young, they got married at a good age, or don't get married at all. I never believed in love, sure I loved my mom and relatives but that's a different from the baloney that Hollywood sells to you. For instance I don't understand love at first sight. That's Hollywood's way of saying two idiot teens claiming they fell in love and really are only together for pure pleasure or purpose. If that's what Hollywood paints as love I'm out.
I hadn't realized that I was standing frozen in place until I felt Asher's hand on my shoulder shaking me. "Serenity, you okay?"he sounded worried "Serenity?" "Yes?" I answered not understanding his worry. "That wasn't funny, you almost gave me a heart attack, you looked like a statue,it didn't even look like you were breathing"he was ranting on. "Okay I'm sorry I was in deep thought" I told him sheepishly raising my hands palms up. "Let's get to class before you freeze up again,"he mumbled sourly "What were you thinking about anyway?" "Um,it's complicated" I told him not wanting to tell him as we walked into the classroom. He gave me a look, "I'm sure I can keep up"he said. I pointed to the clock "At lunch" I told him. "Promise?"he asked. "Promise" I told him as we took our seats in the back of the class. I preferred to sit in the back so it would be harder for the other kids to stare at me,somehow they managed. I hated attention being focused on me, it was so uncomfortable. What were they staring at anyway? It wasn't like I was a toy they could prob for hours and hours. I pretended not to notice,but I was noticeably blushing bright red.
The day went by fast. Well to be fair when I was with Asher time seemed to have have no meaning,that factor scared me. The classes gave us a brief introduction and gave us a class over view. I was happy that the directions Asher had given me,so that I could successfully arrive to 3rd period were more then helpful. I was dreading lunch. I was worried Asher would forget about me and go sit with his friends,I was kinda hoping that would happen,but on the other hand I wanted him to come sit with me, he was a great person to talk to, but I was also worried about the fact he'd be asking me questions about why I froze in the middle of the hallway this morning. I was also fearful that all eyes would be on me because I was the new kid in New York City, the topic of conversation. Anyone who didn't know my name by now lived under a rock. Apparently my dad had been raving on about my arrival to everyone in our community,which was very small so word about my coming spread fast. These kids knew each other from a young age, they practically grew up together, the community in which we lived in was so small that even their great grandparents grew up together. So being an outsider in a sea of familiar fish would be nerve wracking.
My suspicions were confirmed when I walked into the lunch room, it only got worse when I walked in. At first it was a room full of whispers and chatter, but when I walked in it was like I had a bomb attached to my back. The room went dead silent. I tried real hard to pretend as if I didn't notice the eyes that were locked on me. My stomach was churning and for a brief moment I forgot how to make my legs move. By then I could already feel the permanent warmth coming off my cheeks. I was thankful when my legs did move all on thier own. I walked into the lunch line as if no one was staring at me. By the time I got out of the lunch line, and all I could hear were the murmurs and whispers of my fellow students. By then the redness in my cheeks had faded. I spotted a table in the corner of the lunchroom. I almost ran to it. When I sat down I searched everywhere for Asher but I couldn't find him anywhere. That made my stomach drop. When I finally did spot him I wish I hadn't. I was right, he was ditching me to hang out with his other friends. This bothered me more than it should. I had no right to feel this way, it was completely irrational, I had no claim over him, I think that was the factor that bothered me the most. I couldn't understand it, I knew the reality of things that he'd one day get tired of me and leave me to go with his other friends I was just hoping that day wouldn't have come so soon. I hadn't figured him to be the guy that once finished with a task just left it, but that was all I was to him a task he'd been stuck with. That hurt me more, finally realizing that I was the person he'd come to only if he'd have no other choice. I hadn't figured him to be so egotistical or selfish, but he was and I had to deal with that. I could no longer let him have this effect on me. He could not be the person to make or break me. I would tell him so in other terms. I would write him a note as if we were in the 2nd grade. I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing.
Asher,
I know you'll never understand, but it's best if we're not friends anymore. We never should have been friends, and will never be again. I can't take you away from your real friends. So please go on with your life as if I don't exist or as if you'd never meet me, whatever works best for you. I'm truly sorry for hurting you this way, but it's what's best for you. Trust me it's not you it's me, I am truly sorry for the pain I'm causing you. I know I have no right to hurt you this way, and for that I am truly, deeply sorry. Just do yourself a favor and stay away from me Asher it's what's best for you, I'll do my very best not to hurt you anymore, I promise you that.
From,
Serenity
It was over, I wish I could tell him how sorry I was, but I couldn't because that would only hurt him more, that was something that I promised to do no longer. At least now he could no longer hurt me, and I could no longer hurt him. It was all for the best. Right then the bell rang and it was time for fifth period photography. I was glad I had one more period before I had to go and deliver the note to Asher. I would try real hard not to think about him during photography class, but that wouldn't be so easy. I didn't know why I chosen photography, I was never the best at taking pictures in my family but who knows maybe I could get better. The teacher gave us a brief description of the course and gave us some information about himself, and asked us about our photography skills. He told us he'd work with us to improve our skills. Then the bell rang and I could already hear my stomach churning before I ever got out of my chair. I was honestly thinking about skipping sixth period but I knew I was too big of a coward to do that. Plus I owed Asher a face to face clean break, no matter how much it hurt me.
I trudged slowly to the lunchroom where study hall was being held. I was glad to see Asher was already at a table, already working on his homework. I decided to be a bit of a jerk/coward and just dump the note infront of him. So that's exactly what I did not bothering to look back at his expression, although I knew what it would be either surprised, confused, and or hurt. Ten minutes had gone by and I thought Asher had gotten the message but apparently he hadn't. He walked over to the table I was sitting at and took the seat next to me. He slid a note he'd written under my binder. I pretended as if I hadn't noticed him, but he wiggled in his chair to get my attention. Flickering his eyes from me to the note and back and forth. I rolled my eyes and and picked up the note.
Serenity,
First off, what is this a break up song? Second who are you to end our friendship like this? Without giving me an explanation other than it's for the best. I don't get what all this lead to, if I did something wrong why wouldn't you tell me? If I did do something wrong I'm more than sorry, but don't end our friendship like this. Unless you're trying to kill me, please, please, please don't do this to me. And really that whole cliche about "it's not you it's me" is a load of dog poop, actually not dog poop, dogs have no fault in that mess of a break up line. But really you're only hurting me if you're staying away from me. And don't worry about my friends they aren't a problem, if they're my real friends they won't mind me hanging out with you. So can this be fixed?
From,
Asher
I couldn't answer his note, if I did, I'd be giving him the chance to let him change my mind, or worse hurt me again. That was something I would no longer allow. Thankfully the bell rang 20 minutes later. I rushed out of the lunchroom in a hurry. Pleading and hoping with all my might that Asher would not follow. When I was off school grounds I cooled it with the speed thinking that bye now Asher hadn't followed or that I lost him in the process of fleeing. Now all I had to do was think real hard about how I would get home, all I knew was that the apartment wasn't more than 4 miles away, the only problem was in which direction did I have to go to get there. It wasn't until I felt the light tap on my shoulder that I knew someone was with me, and I knew exactly who that someone was. For a second I considered running again but somehow couldn't make my legs work fast enough for that option. Although I thought maybe he just wanted to blow some steam off and let me have it, and I knew I deserved that. So I turned around trying to should like a jerk, not with the intention to hurt him more, but to make him hate me more, that would make this easier on the both of us. "What do you want, Asher?" I said in a strained whisper, well the jerk factor of this conversation was totally lost on me. "I want to know what's up with you." "What do you mean?"I asked faking confusion. He snorted "Don't Serenity, you know exactly what I'm talking about." "I don't know what you're talking about"I told him. "You want me to spell it out for you?" he asked sarcastically trying to be funny. He took a deep breath "Look, I just want to talk"he said. "Look there's nothing to talk about Asher you and I belong to different worlds, that's just how things are, can't you just deal with it?" "Serenity where is all this coming from?" "Asher face it we can't rearrange our lives or our friends lives to hang out together, plus you just meet me, what could you possibly be giving up?" I walked away from him before he could answer. I didn't realize I was crying until I saw the droplets that were on the floor, but for some reason I couldn't stop crying, all I could do was keep running until I made it home. I couldn't bare to look back at the pain painted on Asher's face as he finally understood the truth behind my words.