The Diary of a Nerd

Chapter 3

September 27, My Bedroom, 9:26 AM

Wow, I didn't get to bed last night until . . . Well, really, really late. That, and the fact that I had a rather repulsive dream about Coach Bolton and Valentine's Day . . . Oh, gosh. 'EWWWW' is the only word that can express my feelings for that dream. I think the worst part about it was that I was this Valentine that he gave to Troy's Mom, Cathy. Haha, I just shuddered.

I'm sooooooo happy that my Mom is completely and utterly normal. Okay, so she's normal most of the time. And don't get me wrong, Troy's Mom was very nice, she just revealed way too much information. Way too much -- Sorry, I just pressed too hard on the pen and it ripped a hole in the paper. Great.

September 27, Kitchen, 10:45

Well, I just had a divine breakfast consisting of an apple. I originally came down the stairs thinking that a nice, hearty meal of eggs and bacon would be a good way to start out my Sunday. But then I realized that it's kind of hard to cook eggs when you slip on a slice of butter and knock the carton onto the floor. Seriously, I just wasted five eggs. Crack. Whammo. Explosion. So then I decided on having a bowl of cereal. I had the wheat clusters poured and everything, but then I noticed we're out of milk. So, yeah. Apples are good. I really need to go shopping. I mean, I know my Mom's coming back like, tomorrow, but I'm a growing girl that cannot survive without food! And, well, there was only one apple left . . . Hmm, maybe there's some bananas. Nope, zero yellow fruits are in my refrigerator. I did, however, dig up a kiwi that looked as if it had been in there since last Christmas, but then I screamed and chucked it somewhere. Darn, now I have to find it . . .

Deathly fruit is now disposed of in the neighbor's yard. What, I don't want to be smelling it for the rest of the day, do I? Sheesh. Even if I'm leaving for Bolton's house in five minutes. Aw, crud. I'm leaving for Bolton's house in five minutes. Maybe I'll hear about Troy's first sexual experience instead of Cathy's personal escapades. It would certainly be less awkward. Well, maybe not . . . Whatever, I have to go change out of my pajamas.

September 27, Bolton Mansion's Bathroom, unknown time

It feels weird not being able to write down the time. Shouldn't there be a clock in every room, everywhere and anywhere? Okay, so it would be a little weird to have a clock in the guest bathroom. But, still. It's not as weird as having a television in the bathroom! Seriously, there's a TV in here that is just sitting all innocently on the bathroom counter.

Personally, I think it should be on a shelf or something so that its away from the sink. Oh, wait. There's a shelf over on the other side, in front of the Jacuzzi bathtub. I wonder why it's not up there.

Okay, wow. I've just spent five minutes in here talking about the television in TROY BOLTON'S bathroom instead of telling you what's happened in the past . . . Darn, it, I need a clock!

But, really. I'm actually in here to waste time. That's right, I'm dreading having to leave this room. And maybe I don't have to leave this room. I mean, there's a shower, a bathtub, a toilet . . . Even a TV! And yes, I know the issue of food would come up sometime down the road, but then maybe I could just eat the decorative, silken flowers by the sink. Silk has nutrients, right? It comes from the silkworm's mouth. No, wait . . . IT COMES FROM THE WORM'S BUTT.

Okay, maybe I have to leave after all. But you wouldn't want to leave this room either if you knew what happened!

I had changed out of my pajamas and grabbed my backpack to go to Troy's house. To be honest, I was actually thinking, 'maybe this won't be so bad'. Because last night wasn't so bad, all embarrassing mothers aside. But this afternoon, oh boy.