Dying to Be Thin

Day One

I startle awake as I hear my alarm clock go off. Turning over, I grab my phone and hit the off button as I stretch and walk to the bathroom. It's 5:30. The rest of my family was still sleeping. I take a shower as I think about what I want to wear. I decide on a loose sweater and jeans. I shiver as I step out into the warm Kentucky air. Leaves crunched under my feet as I walk to my 7:30 math class. "You're early," Mr. Brown commented as I walked in. "Yep, sorry," I mutttered as I sat down. I took a sip of the coffee I made before leaving as I checked my phone. It was 6:45. How was I always so fucking early? I opened my phone and saw my friend, boyfriend actually, had texted me. Hey, see you at lunch, want me to bring you something? I smiled and texted Jonah back. No thanks, but thanks for offering:) Eating was the last thing I wanted to think about. I took another sip of my coffee. I texted him back and forth until class started. My stomach yelled at me as I solved the problem on the board. I raised my hand, "the answer is 18." The teacher looked at me and confirmed my answer. "Good job," Mr. Brown announced. I went through all the other problems like a breeze. Why am I able to solve large math problems so quickly but unable to solve my own personal problems? The bell rang and kids were out of there faster than lightning. I didn't want to get run over so I went out last. I survived the rest of the morning, thankfully. The final bell before lunch rang. "Lily!" A voice rang out. I turn around and Jonah stood behind me. "Hi," i said. I've known that boy since I was three, why do I still get nervous around him, my gosh. He grabbed my hips and pulled me against him. He kissed my forehead before heading towards his friends. "See you later, you're helping me with math later, don't forget, your house." I smile as I watch him walk away. I ran home and changed clothes before flopping onto my bed. I grabbed a chocolate bar and in that instant, the doorbell rang. My mom answered the door for me. "Oh hey there, my daughter is upstairs," she said awkwardly. I smile as my room door opens. Jonah plops his math onto my desk. "I don't fucking get any of this bullshit," he muttered looking at his workbook. I look over his shoulder after he sits down. I list off a bunch of terms and steps before settling back into my bed. Grabbing a clipboard, I write down the steps of each part of a problem. "Here," I said, handing him the piece of paper. "Thanks," he mumbled. My head settled into my pillow. I sat up quickly as I heard a door slam followed by explicit yelling. "Guess who is home, big surprise," I groan. My dad, never happy with my mom or me. He always yells and points out every mistake and constantly makes it known he does not like me. Or my mom for that matter. "Yup, I put up with this bullshit," I answer the unasked question. "Does he...has he ever hurt you, physically?" Jonah asked quietly. I nod. He gave me hug, "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm good, it's okay." I tried my best to be reassuring but it didn't work too well. Jonah smiled and turned back to his homework. I flop down and fall asleep.