It's midnight the rain has stopped and the feeling of emptiness sets in. I slowly walk home but already I'm uneasy knowing what's awaiting for me there and the thought of running and never stopping crosses my mind. Just keep going and never stopping but I already know I won't make it far I have no money and only the clothes on my back. I still dream about getting far away from this town and from this pain but no matter what I can't leave Athena she's to young to have the same thing happen to her and the feeling of regret for leaving her there with them all day sets in and I start to run, run back to the pain.
I slowly climb up the tree that leads to my bedroom window. The window creaks and I grit my teeth as I slowly open it please please don't wake up please I think. I cautiously climb through and find Mark sitting on my bed. Shit! This is not happening not tonight please! He stiffly stands and I imagine throwing myself out the window but I stand in my place starting to shake slightly. He hasn't been in here in weeks why now...no not again I just started to be okay well as okay as I'll ever be please don't. He looks at me and speaks in a low quite voice making sure not to wake my mother "Where in the hell have you been Fern!?" I ignore him and look down I'm prepared for what's next I know what he's thinking ever sense my mom met him he's done this to me almost every night. His anger piles up and he hits me in the jaw and knees me in the ribs shoving me on my bed and holding me down I don't even struggle if I struggle it's worse. He spits in my face and puts his hand around my throat tonight he's been drinking and I wonder if he'll stop choking me when he doesn't stop I scratch, hit, and knee all I can do to get a breath in and finally he lets go but doesn't stop there. He's on top of me and he gives me the look and I know what's next it's the part I don't want to remember the part that makes me taste bile he unbuttons my pants and I shut my eyes with tears building up.
After an hour it's over and he leaves but before he does he threatens if a word is spoken Athena will pay the price. I wait for him to leave and I rise shaking and walk to the bathroom were I scrub my skin raw. I stand in the shower for what seems like hours and images flash through my head and I hurl over and over and scrub more and more but it's still not enough I can still smell him and i still feel him but I slowly get out and get dressed in my shorts and tank top knowing the feeling will never go away. I slowly tip toe down the hall and enter Athena's room i crawl into her bed she wakes up and she understands what just happened and let's me hold her while I sob into her back. "Fern" I hear her whisper she waits for my reply but she knows she won't get one and I feel her breathe out a sigh and rubs her fingers over my scars on my wrist she gently whispers "I love you" and I'm able to slowly fall asleep.
