Long Journey Back

Chapter 3 - Seven Days Later

TYLER’S PERSPECTIVE:

 

Minutes turned to hours turned to days and before any of us knew it, it had been a week since I’d arrived in Australia. The doctors had done more tests every day and they had confirmed the small tumor removed from Troye’s brain was all there was of the cancer. No need for further treatment. The day they told us that, everyone breathed a deep sigh of relief. Everyone that is except Troye. He lied just as still as he always did.

I left Troye’s room exactly 3 times every day to get food and use the bathroom, at every other moment I was there, in a chair or on the floor. I was there where I could see him. Watching his every breath, looking for even the tiniest sign of movement, but nothing ever happened.

He always seemed more peaceful at night, after his family had left. I wasn’t quite sure if it was just my perspective, because I could talk openly to him just hoping he could hear me, hoping he was listening, and pleading that he’d wake up. Then I thought it could be that perhaps even in his comatose state, he needed the time to sleep and rest without five or six people standing around staring at him.

That night, the seventh night I stayed with him, I spoke for at least an hour after the Mellets had gone home. Talking about everything and nothing.

Talking about memories…

“Do you remember Italy? Remember Louis’s birthday vlog and how the shippers caught us kissing in the background, but they couldn’t prove it? Italy was the best time of my life, mostly because of you, Troye Sivan. I am so desperately in love with you…”

Talking about videos…

“I uploaded a video earlier. I had to apologize for missing last week. I don’t think they cared much once they knew why. Did you hear me filming that earlier? Tyde let me use his camera since it was much closer than mine. It was really short and only took a couple minutes to edit. It reminded me of the old days of YouTube when I first started…”

Talking about the future…

“Are you still excited about November? Playlist Live, part 2 in New York. Then you’re coming to Michigan with me for Thanksgiving. I can’t wait for that. We’re going to have the best time…”

Talking about him…

“I miss hearing your voice. I just want to listen to you talk for hours. You could talk about anything and I’d be glad to listen. And I miss seeing your very blue eyes staring at me from across crowded rooms, how did I ever think they were any other color? And your smile, god do I miss your smile. Please wake up soon, Troye Sivan. I miss you so much.”

I finally fell asleep around 11, and was awoken by the doctor making his first rounds at 6. He typically waited until Troye’s parents showed up to visit Troye in the mornings, but he came in early that day. “Day 8,” he mumbled to himself, picking up Troye’s medical chart. “EKG still looks normal, pulse ox is normal, B.P. is normal, heart rate is fine, but still no responses.” He bit his lip and started examining Troye again. I sat up in the chair and watched him work. He noticed my movement and gave me a small smile in return. “Good morning,” he said as he picked up Troye’s left hand and felt for his pulse.