anxiety;dan howell

Prologue

Have you ever heard the saying:

'Once bitten, twice shy.'

I have. I have been hurt and gotten shyer than ever. It's like feeling great about how your hair looks, only to be told it looks shit.

It's like being told your mental health, is just an excuse...

I, Hazel Adams, was told, at age fifteen, my anxiety was an excuse to get out of schoolwork.

I was diagnosed at fifteen, after having two panic attacks in the same day. I had always went 'what if' and thought it was just my personality.

I have friends, very few. I'm only friends with them because I went to school with them. That's it really.

When I was hurt, I was fifteen and had just been diagnosed...

I wasn't in school for a week because of how anxious I was because of what people would think of me...

I went up to my year head and showed him my absence note:

Dear Sir,

Hazel wasn't in because she was diagnosed with anxiety and was too anxious to go in,

Kind Regards,

Helen Adams.

My year head just glared at me. I asked him what was wrong but he shouted at me...

'You have no right to stay out of school for feeling anxious! You're using your mental health as an excuse to get out of schoolwork, which is unacceptable in this school!' He screamed.

I said nothing. I just cried, inside.

I have such trust issues. I don't trust anyone, no matter how close they are...

My closest friend, Amy, I wouldn't trust her if she said, face to face, if I was going to her house, as a child...

I had always thought:

'What if she's lying?'

'What if she's doing it so when I go to her house, her parents ask me why I'm here and she'll laugh at me.'

The thoughts are horrendous. I take pills, but they don't really help, my anxiety is too much that I think that the doctor has given me the wrong pills, like poisonous pills. So, I don't take them.

Well, on with life...